God made me a warrior, I found my beautiful soul mate, we were gifted with my two treasures in approval, while in a coma due to TBI for 2 long months, I met with Jesus and all my Catholic upbringing came back, I now have a full conservator, but my family will forever be part of me. NEVER FORGET THAT ALL I SAY HERE IS THE PRODUCT OF MY INJURED BRAIN I WAS ASSESSED SEVERAL TIMES TO BE UNABLE TO MANAGE MY MONEY.
Since my lonely life (because abandoned) is spent watching
movies at my PC I spent (or wasted?) little of my monthly charity to buy this
movie (a brief part of it here) and since watching it made me so happy (and
laughing) I thought to loan its DVD to my immense love Michele (who cannot exit
my mind and stop creating dreams in my broken brain/mind).
The simple fact that she returned the DVD to me without
having watched this movie exemplifies very clearly that - no matter what she
does or says - she still loves and misses me very much, or at least as much as
I do.
Having watched this movie already at least 8 times - without
ever laughing any less - the fact that my adored Michele cannot watch it on her
own is the simple prove of her love for me and how much she misses me too.
What is very sad for both of us is that she is afraid to do
what I would do for her without even thinking of it, its workload and potential
consequences.
What is very negative too is how this inability to take
responsibilities affects our treasures, who are living without their real dad
since too many years. I can only be thankful to the existence of the internet
and my ability to work on my blogs (3) because I'm using them as my method to
communicate to my treasures important life lessons that aren't of the kind that
they should be learned with direct experience.
Soon I'll make a post about my dad - who recently passed
away - and all the teachings he gave to me, even if always travelling for his
work.
I want to express in a clear way what he said to me the last
time I saw him, that has influenced very much my vision of life and afterlife,
even if my age isn't young at all. This is what I was thinking while I was
writing about my sweet and young daughter my angel earlier, my dad taught to me
that to love my children isn't any different or any less than that of the
mother and this is possibly the most important teaching that he gave to me
before passing away.
I posted here before that I have become literally addicted
to watching documentaries done by PBS and while I put here just a few I just
want to say that my saying that I was being told by God directly of certain
things I was wrong, it's my own very developed intelligence that made me think
that certain ideas (instinctual too) must have come from our Creator (very
much more to say about this in a future post). Now simply enjoy these PBS
documentaries that I selected with attention in the huge Youtube library and -
of course - I appreciate very much both your comments and donations - even if
small.
I'm not sure if it's appropriate for me to post here, but
one day while Joey was taking care of my manual wheelchair as he was coming
into my room I was making one of my millions searches in Youtube and with the
corner of my eye I saw a video there entitled "God gave men a penis and
right after took a rib from Adam's chest and created the woman".
Well, no matter for how many hours I've tried to find that
video again, I cannot, so I'm not putting it here.
It's very true however that this fact that God gave to all
men the penis and put at our side women is a real joke because I cannot even
begin to list the wars and murders that this part of men's body has caused over
the centuries! I happen to have a good friend who truly believes that the size
of his penis is exceptional and one of his best friends cannot stop to make fun
of him/it, he even says that my friend's entire brain is completely inside of
his penis, I guess mostly because he only thinks about what women have in the
same part of their body.
Every time we talk by phone together, the jokes never end,
as much as our laughs to tears, so I'd say that this joke from God provides
much entertainment to us humans too.
If anyone can find this Youtube video I just mentioned, I
ask to please email to me the link to it, I cannot imagine what it may be all
about.
Not only (as the Catholic I have always been) I'm deeply
convinced that we humans all have a soul that continues to exist after it
leaves our physical body here on earth (we die) but given my forced solitude I
have been able to both spend very much time communicating (mostly by email)
with real researchers and even scientists working in this field and I have been
able to develop my own ideas about what may happen to the souls of different
people depending on what they believe.
In fact it may seem crazy for me to say that if someone
believes that death is the end of all, that is exactly what will happen to them
i.e. they die and the nothing - no sound, light, memories or anything ever
experienced while living ever comes back, you are dead and forever remain as
such - the "tricky" thing that happens to these people however is
that as they are dying - they do see and evaluate their entire lives and know
that the soul does truly exist, but right after that "the light turns off
forever".
It isn't worth my while to spend any more words on this, so
I just post below few links consistent to this subject and let your free-will
decide.
Together with giving to us humans the brain (with all its
powers), the free-will and the ability to develop our intelligence and logic
into several fields, like mathematics - in fact now with its quantum
developments we can even demonstrate His existence - we can describe and make
sense of the entire universe, its development and physical characteristics.
It amuses me to the point that I post this right after God's
sense of humor that it seems that all of
a sudden the progress of our human knowledge in math is making it very
clear what a superior mathematician God really is.
Without writing too much more about this topic, I link below
- as I always do - few links consistent with this subject, so that my readers
here are sure that what I'm saying isn't the thought of someone with an injured
brain, but it has been explained by real researchers with a complete and
uninjured brain.
As usual I post here few links consistent to the subject of
my post because while I'm glad not to be the only person who thinks that God
must have a very human and great sense of humor, in fact why the heck mankind
has wondered about what may happen after we die? The most brilliant
philosophers, scientist and researchers have been trying to answer this
question and this makes me think that - since everyone dies, sooner or later -
everyone in the entire world has the answer to this question eventually, it's
only a matter of waiting!
If this isn't the joke since the beginning of
mankind, I truly cannot think of a better one!
In fact, no matter the culture, social status and life
experience everybody will know what happens after death, so I say why
the heck there has been such devouring curiosity to this since the beginning of
time and why so many resources have been put behind the research to answer this
question that sooner or later is answered to every single soul here on earth
(after death)?
Later I'm going to talk about what a great mathematician God
is that in my (broken) mind is somehow similar to a great joke too and here
again this has all to do with our impatience to be able to answer questions
that a simple (and brief) amount of time can answer, no matter who or what.
I want to premise this post saying that I was never a "fervent
believer" even if born in Italy, the most Catholic country of the world,
but I just realized that it's no wonder nor surprising at all that our brain is
neither curable nor understandable in this late stage of human development
(second millennium) our brain was in fact formed and given to us humans
directly from God, who having created the entire universe decided to gift us of
the one "organ" that would give independence (with free will) and ability
to evolve.
I posted here before that to pray is good just because it's
with the focus and attention of our mind with our desires that we can make
something we want truly happen (or make miracles, that are what science......).
If I add to this the fact that brain-specialists (neurologists,
neuropsychologists and neurosurgeons) basically know less than nothing of our
brain and how it functions, very much because they all earned their degrees
studying on text books written on average half a century ago (in this field
knowledge and research/science progress is made pretty much every hour of each
day), I'm not at all surprised to have been unjustly given a conservator using
laws made by lawyers who made it very sure that they could never be victim of
their own laws and I'm being "conserved" by a young woman completely
incapable to truly take care of my (simple) needs who "inherited"
this position from her own dishonest mother.
As much as I'd like to say that it's going to be their own
souls that will decide where to be in eternity after having left their body
behind (=died), I'm doing all I can here and now with my own mind and its focus to truly
mess up their lives, in fact I do have a sense that the life of that Ph. D. in
fear lately has gone in a ditch filled with shit, therefore unless he repairs his
mistakes driven by fear, what he's experiencing now is just the beginning of his
eternity in his own hell!
I'm now making a bet with myself (and my treasures) that my
body is soon going to heal itself (in the brain) that means not only that I'm
going back to work in my dear footwear industry, hopefully working again with Angel
M. (a man I can learn very much from for different reasons) but I'm
going to return to be the always present and loving father and husband that the
force of the mind of someone else had destroyed (much more to come here about
this......).
Given that I inherited a very strong force of mind (mostly
from my Lingiardi family) that does inspire many of my blog visitors and
readers, I do know and I'm very aware of the self-healing capacities of my own
body, that has been helping me very much in every single injury I ever had in
my life (that of an athlete who never stepped back in any situation for any
reason).
As I always do, I put here below few links dedicated to our
body self-healing power, but I also want to make it very clear that our brain
truly is an organ in our body and as such - even if the medicine still has no
"cures" to take care of it when injured - it's going to be the body
by itself that can heal the injury, which explains why I'm (still) so
interested in at least trying the perispinal Enbrel, given that all it does is to
reduce the neuronal inflammation that can last for decades after the initial
injury and that by doing so, it can re-activate the brain natural plasticity, always
present until alive.
I have written here before several times that in my entire
life I always had a fascination for mathematics, especially at higher levels, I
therefore dove head first into the new quantum mathematics (and mechanics)
theories, given their claim to be able to explain our entire universe since its
beginning, or the big-bang.
Rather than force you to dive in mathematical explanations
of these theories I put here below few links to sites that contain both the
formulas and their explanations, with the only warning that anything that
relates to quantum theories is always influenced by the point of view,
therefore some of them - even if expressed in linear mathematical formulas
might not make much sense to experienced mathematician, so take them "with
a grain of salt" (or "cum granu salis" like the ancient Romans).
On top of the fact that I was warned by a woman who says
she's Catholic but will never marry nor generate offspring's (as
commanded by God in the Bible) to wipe away from here any and all written words
that might relate to her name and that of some other man whom I referred to
here as a Ph.D. in fear and that I even thought he was gay (only because he
must not have testicles, as males normally have with all the hormonal
production that gives courage, strength and resistance to injuries) I decided
the other day to go to spend little of my desired charity money to watch a
movie all about love between a man and a good looking woman, I'm not going to
say anything here about its plot, I just recommend to spend your money to go to
watch it because it's the story of a loving and dedicated wife who loses her
husband by car accident and her body keeps going back and forth between the
current time (husband still alive) and the near future (funeral and the burying
of the husband's coffin).
Aside from the fact that the entire idea of this movie is
based on the recent quantum theories of space and time (it all depends on the
point of view of the observer) I was very much hurt to understand that women do
exist that would do all possible for the man they married because of love
between the two, very much unlike the woman I had crossed the Atlantic to find
and marry.
Given that I must spend my full 14 hours long days
completely alone I'm watching dozens (if not hundreds) of movies and I can say
that I appreciate very much the ones produced by PBS because very often in the
form of documentary dealing with some of the greatest unknown to human kind,
while my culture grows by the movie (or hour) I like to spend time researching
the internet for supporting websites to what I watch.
I remember watching a movie about the afterlife where there
is a young black man screaming: "if afterlife is so great, why the heck
must we live here on earth?" and I leave the answer to this question to
the theologists who read me here.
I also like very much the fact that "current and
official science/research" is discovering what every religion on earth has
been claiming for at least 2.000 years.
Well, no point in pointing fingers, just enjoy this short
list of websites on this matter:
I was born and raised in Italy
– the country where the Vatican
is – and since I was very young I was raised and educated as Catholic, Jesus
Christ is the son of Father God who treats us all as his children and always
protects them from the “bad” or evil. So when I got my “dream job” in
magnificent Santa Barbara, in the State of California, where my
beloved wife was born I thought that I had been able with my hard work and
correctness to reach the top of all I ever dreamed to have in my life.
The accident with TBI that had me lose all I had earned to
that point, taking away from me also any possibility to re-start a decent life
again made me convinced that the “father God” is just a story made up by those
who are in power since centuries to keep the populations on earth quiet and
focused on the inexistent.
Being told almost every day of the many people who pray for
me gave me the concept that if all the mental energies of the ones who pray
were to be used to do something constructive in life and reality, maybe
something good could come out of all
those hours spent in prayers.
My own mother tells me every day that she keeps praying for
several hours each day the Monte Berico Virgin Mary, because she had prayed her
to ask for me to be born, while she was having natural miscarriages.
So – as for the existence of a God – I thought that even if
one really existed indeed, no prayer could ever be answered or the whole world
would pray for the end of all wars and disappearance of i.e. cancer from earth,
I read once on this subject in a site that explains why praying never results
in what is being prayed for.
However everyone prays because they want to thank God and it
is important because you are trying to express your feelings and you are in a
way trying to block noise out of the way and trying to get peace (meditate) Why prayer is important varies from religion to religion, but essentially,
prayer is seen as talking to God. As God tends to be all-powerful, creator of
the world, type being, talking to Him is seen as pretty important. People pray
to ask God to forgive them, to praise God, to thank God, etc. For people, it
makes them feel more connected spiritually, and often makes them feel more at
peace in their every day lives.
So now even after having had all the doubts about the
existence of a God and of the irrelevance of spending any time praying to ask
for something, I do ask to all of you reading me here to pray for me and the
triumph of justice for me, now that two separate neuropsychologists have
castrated any access to my money saying that I’m incompetent, as suggested in
text-books written decades ago.
I do ask for your prayers because – even if no God answers
to any – I believe that the concentration of our minds can really move
mountains, as proved by the history of the past 2.0000 years.
God’s existence is real and is proven by the gravity law as
much as human justice is affected by them both (G+g), so with the help of your
prayers/mind concentration justice will certainly triumph and give lots to
think about to those who put their faith in decades-old textbooks that
blindfold them in their practice.
Maybe when I write these posts in my blog I give the example
of a brain injured who cannot elaborate thoughts or concepts like any normal
person, if this is the case I do apologize, but writing and posting my thoughts
is probably the best therapy I can do, so since it doesn’t hurt me, neither it
can kill me.
I've been saying here that whenever there seems to be NO
explanation (scientific, physical or mathematical) people label an event as a
miracle, think in example to Thomas Alva Edison http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Edison, when he developed the light
bulb and first introduced it to the public, now nobody even think to anything
strange when entering a dark room and turning the light on (oh, miracle!) the
same applies to the existence of God, I imagine that I used to say that God is
what people think of whenever no explanation can be given for the creation of
this universe (now just one of many = multiverse concept) with the milky way
and solar system with our earth in it (including the moon, very important for
us) I bet that in 100 years from now the advances of quantum theories will have
"officially" proved that God is what created all we see in this
universe and people will smile reading in history books about the way we kept
our beliefs alive for many centuries.
I've also been saying here that according to my (broken as a fearful Ph. D. assessed) logic since
after "just 2 millennia" we only know that the brain is the most
complex organ in our body and that - at best - we just use 10% of its
capacities - we are now starting to look at how it's made (B.R.A.I.N. Obama
launched project) thankfully!
Never mind the fact that a brain injured person (like I am)
has been talking about the human brain being a direct creation of God that is
like the "antenna receptor" to put us in contact (through focus,
desire and by praying) with Him, therefore minimally increase our brain
capacities to have (good and bad) real miracles happen.
All of the above clearly explains (in my injured logic and
mind as per you) why I both survived
(with minimal brain damage - just the motor cortex) an accident that could have
killed anybody else and made a real deal (miracle) while in a coma, with my own
soul so that I now have real proof that our creator God truly exists!
I best say nothing about the way I'm using my very powerful
brain (even if damaged in an important region to me), let me just state to be
very sure not to pass over (die) with any regrets or unfinished business
because that's the sure way to regret forever as a soul (= in hell).
I truly cannot make myself any more clear than this, so I
live it all up to you to do what's necessary (M, A, sista B., etc...) to let me free again, my brain is only focused on re-balancing our earthly lives. God and your souls will take care of the rest, "only forever"........
I would say that in my several posts here I made it pretty
clear that I believe in the real existence of God and That - based on y own
true experience - I'm a real creationist.
In addition my passion for mathematics - that I had since
attending elementary school - has given a real passion to me for researching
and trying to understand the principles of quantum mathematics, when I was
looking for the right Youtube video to post in my "soul and god"
post, I found (and posted) a video that mentions the free will too, I felt
"compelled" to write here something about it too and while I'm sure
that those I mention will recognize themselves very easily, I do know already
that nobody else could ever point the finger to anyone in specific.
I said here before that I'm no MD and I want to add too that
I'm no God either, very simply because if I was it, I'd be repairing (or
healing) my brain just by simply imposing my hand on my head (ha!).
Although, it's been recently proven that the intelligence of
God is totally human, just like ours is, with the small difference that God can see the future just like we can
remember the past, no wonder! if anybody could know in advance what is going to
be the result of any of our actions first of all we would all be winners of the
lottery, therefore billionaires but then the divorce attorneys should best
specialize in something else, given that divorce wouldn't ever exist anymore.
Actually, I cannot even imagine how our lives would forever
change based on this additional capacity, in my personal case I'd never even
think to go for a bike ride on October 12th, 2005, I'd still have a family and
my great career, very much also because I've always been able to put together
small indications to form in my mind a fairly confident prediction of what the
future might be, obviously without being a God myself.
This ability of mine to somehow predict what's going to
happen in the future gives me the ability to say that the soul of the Ph. D. in
fear is going to end up in hell for eternity, because - as everyone knows - our
entire lives are seen like a documentary when we die, with the additional
capacity to recognize whatever bad we did to others and will determine where
we'll spend our eternity (regretting mistakes done victimizing others and never
even tried to fix, or repair/adjust them).
As I had said already there is no intervention, nor need of
any God here, all was created by God (earth, milky way, solar system,
multiverse - more to come about this )
human kind, their soul and eternal existence, with free will.
I find it pretty humorous that free will is described in the
bible as something used by the very first woman (Eve) who used it to
disobey the instruction of God and resulted in us humans to live here on earth
in pain, wars and everything bad you can think of.
Some time ago I posted here that I hope that our next
president (in USA) could be Hillary Clinton, but I now withdraw my hopeful
support, simply because it's men that since the beginning of time took the lead
in doing everything, from creating families, supporting them (food or finances),
it's a very simple genetic result of what men have been doing from the
beginning of time, while women are certainly superior to men in the pain
management area and creation of new life, nobody can say that what men have
been in charge of, for the same amount of time might be any different.
Given the current scientific confidence in the fact that we
all have a soul I therefore want to say that I feel sorry for the people who
have hurt me and my family, simply because as their souls will see their lives
like a documentary of with the additional ability to recognize when they did
wrong (or bad) to others, it will be their independent decision (supported by
free will) that will place their souls (and personalities) where they
objectively deserve to be forever (not God).
What's very true however and it's written very clearly in
the Bible is that forgiveness is very possible, if only you try to repair your mistakes while still
living.
Here again I'm telling to you people that it could be
sufficient for you to make it right again for me and my family (4 people in
total) to avoid sending your own soul forever in hell.
I have said here plenty times that I'm a true creationist
not only because I was born and raised in Italy - the country where the Vatican
monarchy is - but very much also because in my Near Death Experience while in a
coma I said to have met Jesus, then I was corrected by my very good friend, the philosopher
Iacopo who suggested that what I saw and made the agreement to survive my
accident was really me "in another space and time".
I have been writing here plenty times that when science
cannot explain something , it's usually decided to call it a miracle and in the same
way, my dear former Ventura caregiver "sista Beth" used to say that
to believe in God it takes the courageous decision just like take a dive into
something that you cannot see where you will dive into, because no proves ever
existed of the real existence of God.
Well, aside from my personal experience, I can see very
clearly that now the quantum physics and mathematics have been able to prove -
in a very clear and understandable way - that God truly exists.
In fact what my injured brain makes me believe that it
wasn't really Jesus I had met, but myself "in another space and time"
or my own soul, that to me proves beyond any doubt the existence of God. In
fact I put here - as usual - few links that support the existence of the soul
that we all humans have since conception (even before the birth, then) and that
to me uniquely explains that we were indeed created by a superior being that in
a way gave immortality to us.
Like I did on 4/4 - 4/30 - 9/7 and 10/4 I post here my
review of this movie that I asked very many times to my son Brent to be with me to watch it - the theory of everything - (worth every penny you spend for it)
but I believe that his mother Michele may have brainwashed him that I'm a
dangerous person to be near to, so I went on my own. I found it fascinating to
say the least, the story of a man (Stephen Hawking) who was diagnosed with motor-neuron
disease that gave a life expectancy to him when he was 22 y/o of 2 more years
to live, prisoner of his own body, pretty much like me.
I list here the parts of this movie that gave great
satisfaction to me:
when
Hawking is told of the disease in his brain motor cortex, he immediately
asks: "is my brain (=logic and intelligence) going to be affected?
and the answer is a resounding NO (this to you man!)
at a
certain point in the middle of the movie, Hawking says that
"philosophy is dead"
meaning that it's with science that answers can now be given to
fundamental questions of the human kind (this to you Iacopo!)
towards the end Hawking is with one of his wives and says that their creation of their children made his life very worth to be lived (this to me!)
It's very true that it cannot be too hard to love someone - even if on a wheelchair - full of money and very requested for public appearances or speakings (to Michele?)
Now if you go in the internet you can find hundreds of sites
that talk about him being an atheist, or that he stated that there is no need
of God to create an universe, but once again (like in the case of Einstein) Hawking
gives a logical explanation (with Mlodinow) of the existence of God.
(I do however believe that what my friend Iacopo describes as " universal intelligence" that is cumulative knowledge and exists in another dimension maybe in afterlife?) Now, I hope that everyone knows that we are talking about
probably the most intelligent and logical people of the world in the last
century, who could understand and use for demonstrating their own theories the
most advanced physics, mathematics in quantum
calculations.
Watching this movie (sadly on my own) reminded what my
father always stated, or that when the majority of people across many centuries and countries believes something to be true or real: "the majority wins" that to me
is a concentration of democracy, but without writing too much here, let me give
to you few links consistent to what I'm saying:
With the Operating System upgrade from my dearly beloved XP
I went to the Windows 7 (already followed by the 8, 8.1 and next year by the 9
and even 10 version)the loss of the email program that I've been using for
decades, or Outlook Express was for me almost as hard as losing to death a pet
(cat or dog) but in my never-ending internet research I found a company based
in Croatia (not far from my mother country Italy) that has developed what's
named Outlook Express Classic and that I'm both proud and happy to say that it
works just like the dead (now) original one from Microsoft.
Given that its price isn't high at all I just want to give
to it some positive reference and I also put here below the link to its site,
in hope that the other desperate e-mailers who lost the original Outlook
Express can breathe well again.
