God made me a warrior, I found my beautiful soul mate, we were gifted with my two treasures in approval, while in a coma due to TBI for 2 long months, I met with Jesus and all my Catholic upbringing came back, I now have a full conservator, but my family will forever be part of me. NEVER FORGET THAT ALL I SAY HERE IS THE PRODUCT OF MY INJURED BRAIN I WAS ASSESSED SEVERAL TIMES TO BE UNABLE TO MANAGE MY MONEY.
I certainly do not want to belittle Michele's beliefs; I
simply want to post here few concepts that give a good idea about the
inadequacy to be a Darwinist now. I can only think that for Michele to be a
Darwinist (much like the Nazism was) is to counterbalance her conceptual
refusal to the idea that God does exist, even if not the good father as
described by Jesus Christ, who - as I said already - said this just to make
himself clearly understood by Palestinian shepherds 2.000 years ago. Without spending
too many words of my own to describe and explain what I think of these Darwin followers, I just
post below few links to consistent websites with "the perfect
Youtube" for this purpose.
I have been posting here that I am a true creationist and
believe in God, but given that I am a good friend (and former husband) with
atheists, I have been trying to think as they do to understand their reason for
not believing in the existence of a Supreme Being creator of everything.
In my attempt to give to Michele (my eternal love and strong Darwinist),
something to enjoy and think about, I recently gifted her of these books that
treat this "newly discovered matter" (well known by Catholicism and
many other religions since at least 2,000 years).
Mankind has a soul formed by our personality with the living
experiences that continue to exists well beyond it leaves the body here on
earth after death, once our souls pass to the next form of existence.
They review their entire lives with a superior level of
critical knowledge that is the basis for the decision about where to continue
to exist forever (or in eternity).
As I have been saying I believe in reincarnation and in the
concept of Heaven, also called in my mother tongue "terrestrial
Paradise" and it is based on this belief that I'm confident that my soul
(freed of my broken body) will reincarnate in the perfect body I used to have
for about 40 years and never have to suffer or worry about anything again.
When I see videos of NDE survivors who always state they are
not afraid of death anymore, I cannot stop thinking of my deal with our Supreme
Creator when I chose, rather than remain in the afterlife, to return on living
earth - even if told that it would have been painful - for my love for my
treasures.
Just thinking of my treasures makes my pain - especially
when very bad - dissipate in a smile very quickly; I have no reason to desire
or strongly accelerate my own "passing over" just to avoid any pain
or difficulty while missing to be present at the growing up of both my
treasures.
My own dad explained to me - few months before he died -
that it is not very strange for a dad to love his children so much, even if
they are not formed in his own body, I always thought - in fact - that the
connection between a mother and her child should be much stronger than the one
with the father, but my dear dad explained very clearly to me that there is no
difference at all and based on my own experience I do agree.
Given the amount of free time I now have (by the truckload J)
I have been researching, studying and learning (dahhhh, impossible for me
according to Erik) about my NDE, meeting and agreement with Jesus/God/
(myself?) and the very new Quantum theories, that they are truly very
mathematical and for this reason give me fun and happy entertainment learning
about them.
This is the reason why I "stumbled" upon the
concept of Ui, or Universal intelligence and for my readers who may want to
know more about it, I put in my post, Youtube videos and few links to websites
on this subject.
Because of my learning about this, I may have figured out
the reason why I was always superior to others in logic and practical
intelligence, which is the reason why very few people ever felt comfortable
dealing with me about any topic (or anything) and I was a very successful,
reliable and results driven/focused business manager, no matter what or where
in the world I/it was.
Based on what I could read and learn about this Ui, I think
that my own brain and intelligence have been - since my birth - able to easily
connect with this type of intelligence, that is not too different from what I
describe when I say that the human brain is an antenna receiver to be in touch
with God the creator and that by focusing it (often when praying), can make
true miracles take place. To conclude I can only say that I wish that my
injured brain could make the miracle to "fix itself" and this is the
reason why I post here just one (main) Youtube video while I simply post links
to the other on this same topic, to invite you to watch some and tell me if in
any of them I could figure out how to make the miracle to repair my brain motor
cortex (all that was injured).
I guess that regardless of the fact that Erik had stated
(for his own peace of mind) that I am unable to manage my little money; my
brain has developed due to its injury additional capacities, both in
intelligence and in logic.
Much to my own surprise, I find myself sharing the belief in
God that Mr. Einstein had in his life (see links below) and this puts me in the
position to try to explain to my readers few concepts of God that hopefully
will put in agreement both atheists and philosophers (like my friend Iacopo).
It has become very clear to me that the entire Vatican is purely human, there is no connection
whatsoever between God and the Vatican, a true monarchy where the Pope is the
king and the priests and bishops around the world are the "Vatican army".
This monarchy is very ancient and very wealthy, with huge
powers all over this world; I must repeat my disappointment to see our
president Obama, with the support of Hollywood
driving the replacement of our American-only God consumerism with the Catholic
God, while the Vatican kingdom is just
watching this happen.
Aside from repeating myself about all the murders of
heretics (Luther and Calvin, to name only the famous ones) committed by the
Vatican, on top of the Crusades and all the people who were later proclaimed
saints and the many atheists who are such only because the Catholic teachings
are based on the misinterpretations of what Jesus (=God) had said to shepherds
in Palestine 2.000 years ago, I can now say with my simple-minded confidence
that it seems obvious if our prayers are rarely answered and that God isn't
always present in our lives. But let me explain myself better:
God, the creator of this universe (and maybe parallel ones
too?) gifted us humans with the brain that only after 2K years we are starting
to "at least map" and that we know well that we can use just at a low
percentage of its capacities, I also posted here before that our focusing the
brain by praying for what we desire, can make real miracles (what science
cannot explain) take place.
Therefore, in a way our God creator gave to us humans the
brain to take care of ourselves, while He makes much bigger and important
"creation matters".
In my mind this also explains very well the reason for my
being able to speak both English and Italian after the 2 months long coma, I never
had any worry about swallowing anything or my intelligence and logic ever been
minimally affected (this is all on you Erik).
What makes my injury very unacceptable to me is that not
only I lost a "dream job" in a "dream town" but I also lost
my very beloved family (Michele+Brent+Giorgia+ the Italians), that I had posted as
the "insult on top of the injury".
The additional insult (as if I need any other…) is what the
NASGA association is trying to fight (change or eliminate) the
legislation on guardianship done at the cost of the disabled people (due to age or injury)
and at the sole advantage of the conservator (I call this "a dirty
business").
Now that "official science" has proven the real
existence of life after death, it still is not sufficient for me to know that
the souls of the perpetrators will forever (in eternity) be damned, while I do wish I
could wring your necks now.
I just want to repeat that God will forgive everyone of
everything if only something is done to repair the bad done to others while
still alive.
I was recently told something about time that I find very
deep and want to share here, or that when the parameter used to measure time is
eternity, rather than hours, days, years and seasons like we do here on earth,
the time of the "blink of an eye" in eternity can be hundreds of
earthly years and this cannot sit well with me, the one who - according to my
dad - was "born in a hurry".
DING! DING! How many more times must I ring this bell to you
Erik and T.??
As I look at the labels of my plenty posts here, I see that
I dedicated to the concept of love 29 of them and for this reason I'm not going
to add anything to this God-given gift that completely and very clearly
separates us humans from animals that when they do the same things we do is
just because instinctual behaviors simply genetically programmed - there is no
love emotion or feeling involved at all when a mammal (monkey, bear or dolphin)
breastfeeds the newborn - this is in fact the reason of my post here, I
strongly believe in fact, that even if Michele has always been atheist, my
eternal love for her will open the doors to heaven for her too, so we will
continue to exist together in eternity as souls, even if she has been so terrified
by my refusal to accept my disabilities that she prefers to live away from me
and keeps our treasures at a distance (for safety?) from me, their only true
dad who chose to survive a mortal accident for the love I have for them too.
Besides putting as usual the links here below that support
what I say , I want to explain the picture posted too, in fact I know that I
had told to my dad and my best business friend as I came out of the coma that I
had made the deal with Jesus Christ to survive the accident for the love I have
for my treasures, but in trying very hard to
bring my memory back to that encounter, I now can tell that what I really saw
was a glittering golden sphere just like the one I post here. This is what I
remember God looked like - no matter how I called Him, or what a
philosopher friend suggested - I felt like I was being looked at with human
eyes and heard a voice - not from a mouth - speaking in English with a deep
tone, but this might be again my memory influenced by my life experiences or
even by movies about aliens I had seen in the past.
All I want to add is what Father Betto in Ventura told me
when he heard from me of my story, he said that I'm truly blessed to be
still alive and maybe my ultimate reason to be here again - besides my love for
my children and for Michele - is to spread the word that God is real and true with my blog.
I grew up in a "well-off" family mainly thanks to
my dad being the CEO of the European operations of the American company Massey
Ferguson, so we were comfortable with money but never lived in any type of
luxury, in fact I do remember well the sacrifices I did to have my first dirt
bike and what it had to take for me to receive as Christmas gift my very first
spear gun (Medisten, Mares) that I think I still have it today in some storage
35 years from receiving it.
My dad always kept a large book with all the accounting of
income and expenses, his brother Alfredo (Dino - Alfa Romeo car company CEO)
did too and I remember like it happened yesterday that after Dino's death, my
dad went in his studio to get rid of some stuff without any value and when he
found the accounting book with all the actual original receipts of everything
that was ever purchased in 50+ years of family history, my dad had tears in his
eyes looking at expenses they had done together over the years, he exclaimed:
"We truly have always been brothers!"
Even if I'm a generation after my dad and his brother, I
did use to have the same system as they did, but using my PC rather than the
accounting book they used and you can ask to the mother of my treasures what a
big deal used to be every time she wouldn't keep the actual receipt of anything
she ever purchased for any reason!
The other thing that my dad taught to me very clearly is
that money is only important while you live here on earth, but it has no value,
nor any importance once you are a soul, after you die (try asking to B. Gates J)
the only real value of money is to give a comfortable living to your family, or
to anyone you care for.
This is yet another reason that makes me mad for having been
assessed incapable to protect and accumulate my own money that is the fruit of
many years of honest and hard work, while it's being "taken care of"
by somebody who doesn't have a fraction of my experience and confidence with it in any amount.
Although I'm angry for this fact of not being able to manage
my money, I'm at least very glad that I made my will that states clearly that
my children (treasures) will be the sole beneficiaries of any and all my values
(money and real estates).
This concept truly dissipates all my anger, because - even if
I cannot directly manage it as well as I have always done - my treasures will receive their
"head-start" from me directly.
My accident - followed by TBI with 2 months long in a coma -
took place in October 2005 as I had just started my new dream-job in a great
company in the presidential position I had been dreaming of, for dozens of
years, as I had posted here before I'm no God (7/20) neither I'm an MD (3/2) BUT
since I spend about 14 hours each day browsing the internet for answers to my
questions (very many!) I am going to link here below the medication that I have
been begging for about 6 years to be treated with and that I have been warned
to never mention it again even as a possibility.
I must admit that my sole focus about this medication
(Etanercept/Enbrel) has been in receiving it by perispinal injection (covered
by US patent) and given that I remain firmly convinced that it will become the
standard treatment for TBI cases, I'm not going to change any of my past posts
in any way, in fact I link below my old posts simply to demonstrate that I wish
that, as a patient, my very good and experienced doctors of many different specialties
could have listened to their patient's suggestions, sometimes.
When I saw the other day my current neurologist I had the
joy to hear him say that I could see a rheumatologist, who have been using
Enbrel for several years already (even if
not by perispinal administration).
However, I am now at the point that I would do anything to
reduce my back (neuropathic) pain for the following 2 reasons:
I lost
count of the (too) many attempts I have been doing over these many years
(in pain)
I was
told awhile ago by my dear physical trainer in Ventura that "my only
reason not to walk on my own already is only due to the constant pain I
always feel, no matter what I do or think"
I'm very much looking forward to the next several months,
not only because I may finally receive the pain treatment I kept asking for,
but also very much because this good neurologist advised for me to see a
psychiatrist so that I can address in a constructive way my very many
frustrations for my disabled conditions and feel free to share my innermost
thoughts without the fear to be judged and at the same time finding a
therapeutic outlet to my angers and frustrations that I cannot say I hope will eventually allow me to rejoin my dear family.
So stay tuned because it should not be surprising if I shall get
back to work, to my family and to my international travelling.
As I had done on 4/4 - Noah, 4/18 - Heaven is for real, 4/30
- Another woman, 9/7 - As above, so below I'm about to repeat myself in what I wrote on 7/28 in my post titled TRINITY, or that I find it at least
upsetting and offensive that the political world (i.e. Obama visiting the Pope
recently) is taking the lead in the attempt the replacement of the "God
consumerism" with the Catholic God while the entire US clergy is just
looking at this while it happens.
Aside from the fact that we even just had a Pope resign from
his elected position while everyone else just looked at it, we now can see that
while Obama is taking charge of protecting our souls, he can rely even on the Hollywood
film making machine to make the faith in Jesus and the entire history of
Catholicism's at least appealing to the Joe Doe who lives down the street.
On top we now have
the so called "quantum scientists" who claim to have figured out in a
mathematical way both that God really exists and that we humans have an afterlife,
or that after we die our souls (proved to exist, even by the pictures of some
Russian photographer) with the knowledge and experience acquired while living
here on earth will continue to exist forever, I guess that's why everyone has
jumped on the catholic wagon, who may ever want to spend eternity in hell?
About hell, purgatory and heaven I want to add my comment of
a brain injured who cannot manage his own money....
I just want to say - as an accident survivor who had a NDE -
that hell isn't what Dante described in his Divine Comedy, it's just a soul
lost in the immensity of our expanding universe all alone, knowing (damn) well
where heaven is with God.
Then as for Purgatory, it is just like being in hell BUT
with the knowledge that after some time has gone by being all alone in the
universe, the doors to heaven will be open again.
Personally, I cannot imagine a worse hell than the one where
for eternity one regrets all the wrongs done to others for some (selfish)
reasons, but that is what God will make that soul realize and understand, no
matter if one is convinced to have always and only done what is right and fair
to others while living (there are too many I could name now, but I best let you
realize who you are) BUT never forget that by repairing your wrongs done to others before you die you can surely be forgiven!!
I certainly do not want to belittle Michele's beliefs; I
simply want to post here few concepts that give a good idea about the
inadequacy to be a Darwinist now. I can only think that for Michele to be a
Darwinist (much like the Nazism was) is to counterbalance her conceptual
refusal to the idea that God does exist, even if not the good father as
described by Jesus Christ, who - as I said already - said this just to make
himself clearly understood by Palestinian shepherds 2.000 years ago. Without spending
too many words of my own to describe and explain what I think of these 
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