EGOTISM

It just so happens that very close to where I live a very experienced and respected rheumatologist has his office -with very hot front desk girls- and much to my huge amazement he told to me that I'm perfectly correct to believe that perispinal Enbrel is the miracle I understand it to be, very sadly and disappointingly however I was there all alone and not with my important and nice and caring full conservator who manages all of my money to prevent my wasting it before I turn to be 65 y/o (ha!).

I also understood - after having proved to this MD that I know extremely well how this off-label therapy is done and how it affects the injured brain also several years after the injury - that the only reason explaining why he won't ever do it to me is simply for his own egotism - too big for me to give an idea of its size - in short this very important, educated and experienced rheumatologist (who must like young and beautiful girls) explained to me that it isn't that he won't ever give to me these "miraculous injections" because it costs very much money to buy the patent extension from the filer of the patent (like every other loser I ever asked for it) but simply because - given his past relationship with the patent holder, his own ego is too big for him to ask to the patent holder to buy the extension to it (and consequently have his investment repaid back to himself at least 50 times back in a short amount of time), he simply wants to have nothing to do with someone he (and his ego) consider inferior to himself.

This means that - while I'm glad to having been proven correct once again - only time (and a miracle) will let me receive the only method (still off-label because not yet FDA approved) that can surely restore me and my life and family the way I always wanted them to be.

1.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egotism
2. http://www.quora.com/What-are-the-things-that-your-ego-stops-you-from-doing
3. http://simplelifestrategies.com/10-signs-your-ego-is-in-control/
4. http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/personal-development-%E2%80%93-is-your-ego-getting-in-the-way/

• http://dana.org/Cerebrum/2012/A_Future_Without_Chronic_Pain__Neuroscience_and_Clinical_Research/
• http://www.har-journal.com/archives/1184
• http://www.jneuroinflammation.com/content/7/1/27
• http://www.fda.gov/Drugs/DrugSafety/PostmarketDrugSafetyInformationforPatientsandProviders/ucm109340.htm

ME, THE COLUMN

It's now very possible that I finally figured out the reason why the mother of my treasures has decided to completely abandon me (even if I still feel the union of our love for each other) in fact I used to represent for her the steel column bearing both our lives (and those of our treasures), I was in fact all she loved and had who not only always took care of her and provided all the comforts that anyone could dream to have, but in addition I was always so very thoughtful, attentive and considerate that I could anticipate her desires and wants before she even would express them to me in words, in fact it wasn't rare for me to get back home with news or purchases that truly would leave her speechless, she only could say that she "had been dreaming about something like that".

Surely I'm not a mind reader, but it was somewhat easy for me to understand what she might have liked just by looking and listening to her with my usual attention, love and intensity.

Therefore I can now understand why Michele she did all she did, she was simply completely lost for having seen her life bearing column collapsed, what she couldn't imagine is that collapse is just temporary and the fact that she believed to have found a column replacement in B. - who only had personal interest in saying that once a column collapses, it's all over forever - I ended up in this pool of shit trying to stay afloat bearing the weight of conservatorship all alone.

What a real expert in afterlife recently told me: " people who adamantly insist that after death there is nothing do sometimes wander for awhile, until they are rescued" gives me very much hope that my soul with the strength of our love will make it possible to rescue her soul and spend eternity together again.

• https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2014/10/10/ask-amy-column/rFiBDqYaluRoAnIfTsCnEO/story.html 

I CAN'T HELP IT

I really swear that I don't do it on purpose, but given that I spend about 14 hours each day in front of my computer browsing the internet for millions of reasons - not at all related to something that may be useful to overcome my disabilities - as I was researching about a new medication that my new psychiatrist prescribed very recently to me (first thing I always do is to read about the always present side-effects).
This is the list of websites (even from the important and official NIH) that popped out in my search.

•  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21254790
• http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15265252
• http://psychsoma.co.za/files/psychdigest-200808-vol-2-no-5.pdf
• http://pharmrev.aspetjournals.org/content/64/4/1004.full
• http://pseag.com/tag/brain-injury/

Since while I was in a coma (2 months long) I had what's now called a Near Death Experience when I made an agreement with I don't know who (but I had several different suggestions about the "entity" I may have met) about my surviving the accident, somehow I'm still in some sort of contact with what's named the afterworld and very often I dream that there already exists the way to fully recover from a brain injury by simply reducing the inflammation of the injured brain (that often lasts many years after the actual, initial injury) so that the brain itself can return to be plastic (just like mother nature has programmed the brain to be).

I've been posting so much here about "this way" and why it's still very difficult and expensive to receive this treatment that I just invite my readers to use the new and improved navigation tools of my blog to know about it,  even if by just reading the sites I linked above should be sufficient.

MY BLOGGING

Since I cannot work anymore and I'm left all alone all day every day, I started getting interested in the so called "blogging art" of which I'm actually proud, as usual I put below several links to sites consistent to what I say and I put the link in orange to the site of friends I've made learning how to blog. I have to say that whoever ever stated that an injured brain cannot learn to do anything new anymore, just shows how far behind is any science and research to understand how the human brain functions, I actually find it very funny that only now we are starting to figure out how our brain is made - thanks to Obama's BRAIN mapping project - in other words this means to me that at the beginning of the second millennium we still don't know how an important organ in our body is even made, no wonder I've yet to meet any psychologist who knows what s/he's doing and talking about, but I'm going to leave this alone, I'd be offending too many without any benefit to myself.

Anyway This is a blog done using the Google structure that I find very logic and simple to put together, however - as any beginner - I was lucky enough to find real blogger experts (fiverr orange link) who have had the dedication and patience to guide me through the improvements and the practical look of this blog of mine.

I can just say that - even if they are overseas - this is a very talented group of young people who are all very fluent in English and inexpensive too.

https://www.fiverr.com/thatsblogging/give-an-awesome-look-to-your-blogger-blog

1.  http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/11/why-i-blog/307060/
2. http://mashable.com/category/blogging/
3. http://blogging.org/
4. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog
5. http://www.top10bestwebsitebuilders.com/?kw=blogging&c=64711319317&t=search&p=&m=e&adpos=1t3&dev=c&devmod=&mobval=0&topic=blog&a=2020&gclid=COWEnN34-cUCFVGCfgodJj8AAA
6. http://nymag.com/news/media/15967/
7. http://thatsblogging.blogspot.com/

THE IMPOSSIBLE

This is what I had posted on 7/13/2012   http://lingiaca.blogspot.com/2012_07_01_archive.html

I was famous while working for always stating that “the impossible doesn’t exist” and tell people working with me to never use this word. In fact the word miracle is very often used to comment when something "impossible" is done by somebody. Well then, I must be a real God, since I've been making miracles to myself to heal injuries in my body that would have badly disabled me since I was a teenager, I can actually still see the scars in my body (mostly in my legs) that resulted from surgeries to reposition the bones so they can heal themselves correctly (the most that medical science can do).

This begs me to say that all the psychologists I've seen since my brain was injured (motor cortex only) haven't considered the fact that in my healthy body, my injury may miraculously  and pretty rapidly heal all the other injuries that my brain had, while still working on the main one (motor cortex, only again).

Aside from the fact that my last psychologist felt it to be safer (for himself) to agree with what many previous psychologists had assessed of me few hours/days after I came out of the coma, this injury has paralyzed the left side of my body that hasn't been moving for 10 years now and has therefore lost all of my muscles in that side of my body, which means that when my body makes the miracle to heal the motor cortex I'm going to remain unable to use my left body side simply for the absence of muscle-strength. And this is when my determination and almost inhumane strength of will are going to help me take on the reconstruction of the plenty muscles in that part of my body with their tone and strength.

What's also very sad is that I met very few psychologists (3) who - after having exchanged little time talking with me - were horrified to know that I was put under conservatorship, sadly none of them - each for different reasons - has been able to let me free as the man I was born to be.

In addition I'm surrounded by well educated people who tell me that since having delusions and cognitive issues is very typical for TBI victims, there's no way that I might ever return to have my working, value generating and active life I had until the 2005 accident.

All I can say is to stay put and wait to see my doing the next miracle.

Will let you know of my outcomes, but it will take to have a new president of the USA (next year).

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2012-10/s-nhf103112.php

http://mojowisdom.com/

GOOD DEAL IMPLICATION

As I read the link to the Urban Dictionary definition of making a good deal, I realize that it precisely describes my way of being since I was born, or that for me in order to "move on" (for my natural impatience) in anything I've ever been involved with (conversations about anything, business decision and all else you can think of) I always both agreed or said YES to anything I was ever any part of "something you don't really care for just say, "good deal or yes" over and over again until they shut the fuck up".

What adds to this, represents the very much fun I always had when dealing with others, no matter how important or smarter than me they were.

In addition - in case you may wonder - my always being in agreement with idiots of that size never brought to me anything negative or uncomfortable for my life and that for those whom I love (past, present and future).

Let me make it clear too that my being in agreement with somebody else was just for the reason to move forward faster the matter being talked about AND ONLY if this matter wasn't - in my mind - important, or that my life and that of my family couldn't be affected in any way, shape or form.

I must admit that this is the only proof that my brain is truly injured, why would I ever agree with that Oxnard Ph. D. in fear if I could foresee that my agreeing with all the crap he said and the idiotic drawings he dared to ask to me what they represent, if I could just glimpse to the implications that such testing could have for my family (my creation)?

I just want to say to that loser in Oxnard - to be more clear - that I do know and truly understand that to tell to that court that what you said of me isn't correct, but how else could you avoid eternity in hell and earthly punishments, such as your own reputation and the health of those you love the most if you don't take "this plunge"?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=good+deal