It's now very possible that I finally figured out the reason
why the mother of my treasures has decided to completely abandon me (even if I still
feel the union of our love for each other) in fact I used to
represent for her the steel column bearing both our lives (and those of our treasures), I was
in fact all she loved and had who not only always took care of her and provided
all the comforts that anyone could dream to have, but in addition I was always
so very thoughtful, attentive and considerate that I could anticipate her desires
and wants before she even would express them to me in words, in fact it wasn't
rare for me to get back home with news or purchases that truly would leave her
speechless, she only could say that she "had been dreaming about something
like that".
Surely I'm not a mind reader, but it was somewhat easy for
me to understand what she might have liked just by looking and listening to her
with my usual attention, love and intensity.
Therefore I can now understand why Michele she did all she
did, she was simply completely lost for having seen her life bearing column
collapsed, what she couldn't imagine is that collapse is just temporary and the
fact that she believed to have found a column replacement in B. - who only had personal
interest in saying that once a column collapses, it's all over forever - I
ended up in this pool of shit trying to stay afloat bearing the weight of
conservatorship all alone.
What a real expert in afterlife recently told me: " people who adamantly insist that after death there is
nothing do sometimes wander for awhile, until they are rescued"
gives me very much hope that my soul with the strength of our love will make it
possible to rescue her soul and spend eternity together again.
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