Carlo Lingiardi

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

ME AS LANCE ARMSTRONG

On 10/28/1012 I posted that I feel like how the grandiose composer Beethoven must have felt when he lost his hearing, I thought that I can really imagine very well how for a musician who loves music so much that he can compose it himself to enjoy hearing it, must be truly heartbreaking to lose the ability to hear a single note of it.

Today I want to change the statement I made almost 2 years ago with my understanding - based on watching a movie about the cyclist Lance Armstrong that I feel to be very much more like Lance with his fighting spirit and desire to always win over everything and everyone, no matter the cost. The fact that Lance is not only a survivor of the biggest doping scandal that cyclism ever had in its history, but that he won over a cancer that had started in his testicles and spread in his entire body to reach his brain, so that Lance had a chunk of it surgically removed makes me feel even closer to this man with his history than to Beethoven.

In fact, I too was born with the very potent drive to always win, no matter what, to the point that my international friends when in Berkeley had me have the Japanese character "to win" tattooed on my arm (deltoid area).

I am amazed to realize that this is probably one of the reasons that explains why my spouse Michele cannot live with me any longer, in fact I completely refuse to accept even the idea that my brain cannot "be fixed" because too broken. Given that my belief in God has become even stronger than it ever was, plus my interest in philosophy and my plenty "email talks" with both theologians and philosophers, I have become convinced that I will win over my TBI and return to work (earning money) again, eventually.

Certainly it is very true that nothing for me ever happens fast enough, but my use of the word "eventually" is a sure sign that my brain and attitude have fully learned this lesson, that like everything else will never be forgotten.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

LEARN TO FORGIVE YOURSELF

On 8/25/14 I posted FORGIVENESS that while it tells of the importance to have this ability doesn't tell much about the bigger importance of the ability to forgive yourself.

I do believe - after much thinking and questioning - that the inability of my eternal love Michele (now sad former wife and good mother to the future Lingiardi generations) to ever want to live with me as we did for more than 15 years before my accident, is all and only related to her inability to forgive herself for the mistakes she has done at my own personal cost for years.

As I always do I put few links on this subject and a Youtube video that demonstrate beyond any doubt that my analysis of such behavior isn't the fruit of an injured brain, psychology has been addressing this issue for many years already as well as Catholic religion, how can you move on about something if you cannot forgive yourself before you forgive someone else?

I guess that it is due to my gigantic self-confidence with my Catholic upbringing that I fully forgive Michele for all she has done to me, aside from the true fact that I cannot stop loving her, no matter if I think about her poor decision making when she was scared for having lost me as the husband and father in charge of protecting all and everyone in the family that I myself created and always took good care of.

A good friend of mine - who surprised me showing his religious faith - once told me that my situation may be God trying to teach to me that I was married to the wrong woman, but how can anyone even think such a blasphemy? Not only had our creator God united us in His house (the church where we married) but also His approval made it clear with the birth of our two treasures, which are going to bring into the future parts of their mother, Michele and myself.

Please Michele forgive yourself and let me return to be the man at your side who protects you and our treasures from all and everyone, no matter the cost, being confident that no forgiveness for anything is due to anyone (me or yourself), you simply got terrified by my practical death and everyone fears death.

Monday, September 15, 2014

CORRECTION

The other day in my "teach by example" I mentioned what I may want to do to B. but as I was thinking about it, I realized that for the creationist and Catholic I've always been - in addition to the fact that I had undeniable proof of our souls and of afterlife - I shouldn't concern too much myself about having revenge while I'm living, with anybody, it's going to be our own souls with the immense knowledge of our creator God that will decide where our souls and personalities will be spending eternity and given that B. dared to stick his body (the stiff part of it) in the Holy connection between me and Michele, he committed what's called since millennial "mortal sin" that will send his soul and personality in hell forever.

Therefore, I think that I have no need at all to be all worked up with jealousy, our God creator and our own mind (soul) are going to determine the correct eternal punishment for B. - I have no need to ever terminate someone else's life to make my own justice, and get in trouble with the law.

I am not going to spend a single word about what I now know what afterlife is all about (with hell, purgatory and paradise/heaven) everyone is going to know directly in few more years (when dead).

All I want to say is simply that as we are dying (pass over) we review our own life and clearly see what we did wrong and hurt someone else, that will determine the outcome of our soul's eternal location in the afterworld.

While I could add very much to this talking about specific people, I don't need to do it, you know very well who you are, just look again at what I just underlined and you will certainly know who you are, just remember that if you can repair the wrongs you ever did to someone else, all will be forgiven and the doors to heaven will be open for you.

Given that my treasures read my blog here too, I cannot say what it will be of the soul of the temptress of B., I can only hope that it is logical without me having to waste a single word :).

Sunday, September 14, 2014

ATHEISM

My unique reason to make this post is to reach my treasures in order to make sure that they do know what I believe, simply because their mother is an atheist and I also say that I'm sorry to my good friend Iacopo who has made a career in proclaiming with his philosophical work that God cannot exists (I believe that I explained here already the reason he has to be the atheist he insists to be).

Without spending too many words on this subject I invite my readers to both watch the Youtube I put here and go to the sites I linked here below, as usual and please do not get mad at me if some say that atheism and atheists are stupid.

Enjoy!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

TO TEACH BY EXAMPLE

I spoke here before how important my children/treasures are for me, for the reason that they represent my immortality because they will pass on my own genes (personality and physical characteristics) into future generations.

My dear dad taught me that the best/most efficient and long lasting way to teach something to children, or others is to do it "by example" and while I'm sure that I teach to my treasures what it means to be tough and be able to mentally (at least) overcome the most devastating injury to the still completely unknown part of the body (brain), I really hope that they won't learn anything from what their mother has been showing to them about her way to survive the loss of the man she had married and happily lived together with, for at least 15 years.

What I find insulting is that I am under conservatorship to "protect" my own monetary wealth from myself while my former wife has been victim of investment swindles and dreams to replace me with something that I can only call with the letter B. because even if he may have a first and last name, he only deserves to be referred to with one single letter.

Few weeks ago I put a post in my blog for my treasures about warning my princess about certain behaviors that her mother was showing, to make sure that she wasn't being "taught by example" and I received an angry call from my dear son, very upset because his sister was crying desperate, so I immediately removed it, in hope that she will never forget what I was trying to teach (in words only).

Few months before my dad "passed over" he told me very seriously that my unique reason to agree with God to remain alive had been for the love I have for my treasures ONLY and not for what I was thinking as the most logical love I will always have, or for Michele.

I posted here before that love is truly blind and thinking about it, I want to say that it is very good that I am blind for my love, because I do not know what might happen (to B.), if I could see with clarity.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

THIS GOTTA BE TRUE!

Given that all my IQ tests have always gone through the roof and that the gay Ph.D. (NOT a gay, it is just the anal fetish he has that got me confused…… poor wife J) I have been thinking that since I have plenty of spare time that I use to study religions, the Bible, quantum theories, advanced mathematics and physics, medicine, physiology, art, literature and my beloved - since I was teenager - geography and history, my injured brain must have developed some hidden abilities, normally distracted by the everyday concerns of taking care of my job, my family and my financial health.

I therefore don't think I've turned into a genius, it's simply that I can focus my mind (free of any other concern of the kind I just listed) in something very different and unusual for someone with a family and a job, who has very little "spare time" to focus his/our very potent (and still totally unknown) mind (or brain) in matters of this type.

However, in my constant and never-ending internet browsing I found the websites I link below because it does seem that once injured our brain can activate parts in it that can produce really strange effects, this confirms once again that:

· we use - at best - 10% of our brain capacities

· it is the antenna receiver connected with our God creator

· allows to us humans to make real miracles (what "official science" is unable to explain)

While I continue to ask (or beg?) to make me a small donation with Paypal, I can anticipate that my next post is going to explain the final word in my 9/13 post, revenge!, so stay tuned and donate!

and now as usual:

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