On 10/28/1012 I posted that I feel like how the grandiose
composer Beethoven must have felt when he lost his hearing, I thought that I
can really imagine very well how for a musician who loves music so much that he
can compose it himself to enjoy hearing it, must be truly heartbreaking to lose
the ability to hear a single note of it.
Today I want to change the statement I made almost 2 years
ago with my understanding - based on watching a movie about the cyclist Lance
Armstrong that I feel to be very much more like Lance with his fighting spirit and
desire to always win over everything and everyone, no matter the cost. The fact
that Lance is not only a survivor of the biggest doping scandal that cyclism
ever had in its history, but that he won over a cancer that had started in his
testicles and spread in his entire body to reach his brain, so that Lance had a
chunk of it surgically removed makes me feel even closer to this man with his
history than to Beethoven.
In fact, I too was born with the very potent drive to always
win, no matter what, to the point that my international friends when in Berkeley had me have the
Japanese character "to win" tattooed on my arm (deltoid area).
I am amazed to realize that this is probably one of the reasons
that explains why my spouse Michele cannot live with me any longer, in fact I
completely refuse to accept even the idea that my brain cannot "be
fixed" because too broken. Given that my belief in God has become even
stronger than it ever was, plus my interest in philosophy and my plenty
"email talks" with both theologians and philosophers, I have become
convinced that I will win over my TBI and return to work (earning money) again,
eventually.
Certainly it is very true that nothing for me ever happens fast
enough, but my use of the word "eventually" is a sure sign that my
brain and attitude have fully learned this lesson, that like everything else
will never be forgotten.
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lance_Armstrong_doping_case
- http://www.news.com.au/sport/cycling/lance-armstrong-says-hed-still-lie-if-he-could-and-uses-the-fword-an-awful-lot-to-make-his-point/story-fngr0c3c-1227030713333
- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2196836/My-life-Lance-Armstrong-Personal-assistant-tells-steroids-cyclists-bathroom-cabinet-fired-year.html
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