Friday, February 17, 2017
I must say that this is yet another post made out of Youtube videos that are about Robbie Naish, who was the reference point for every windsurfer like me in the lake of Garda, he actually came once to windsurf in the location where I was going with my several windsurfer friends and showed to all what a real windsurfing God he truly was, what I believe it interesting is that he's my same age, born on April 23th same day as my sister (2 years younger than both of us) but he still windsurfs as well as when he was 20, too bad that I couldn't even get on the board, without left arm and leg, however looking at the dozens of Youtubes available I feel like I'm back to those times again, take your time to have your guts revolted upside down and enjoy one unique sport that can only catch your heart with love for true adventure:
"My spot" in Garda lake, I windsurfed there for 15 years, but I was never as good as these windsurfers, Peler is the name of the very strong wind from North:
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Listen to this from Bach, to get into my own mood as you read me.
Too bad that those neuropsy. Felt it important to have me put under conservatorship to make sure that I’ll have enough money for my retirement, when all I wanted to do is to try a not-yet FDA approved therapy that’s – oh my!- been offered for about a full decade, no matter how much criticism it generates.
I don’t know how many times I’ve said here that medicine is the guess science where try is the key verb that expresses what we know as of today in this second millennium about what an aspirin can do for a simple headache.
What being under conservatorship has costed me this far is the "reasonable" amount of my money of $80.000! My (very) reasonable questions to the two judges who’ve granted (the last one in Santa Barbara certainly will) to my two conservators/losers are simply:
- what they understand the neuropsy. assessment means
- Have they ever taken one?
- Would I be so stupid to continue to spend my money doing a medical therapy if I don’t see any improvement after the first couple of injections (just like my former neighbor in Ventura did)?.
It’s both funny and very pitiful that these two different judges were given the report of the very well established UCLA psychologist who wrote that – after having interviewed me for more than one hour – I shall be “allowed to try such therapy, at least for beneficial psychological purposes”.
What’s even more pitiful and very upsetting to me is that many of the assessments done on me (especially the last one, done by a neuropsy. approved by the Santa Barbara judge) clearly state that I shall have the liberty to invest few thousands $$$ in doing what’s by now become almost a disease for me.
It matters not that I did exchange dozens of emails with the Australian professor in biochemistry, who is now leading the effort to have the AU FDA approve the perispinal Enbrel therapy for TBI recovery in that country to minimize the cost for these victims, who have now as unique option to come to Southern California to receive this therapy, nor that I’ve exchanged plenty emails with someone (Michael) who is very close contact with the Argentinian neurosurgeon who has been giving this therapy/injection since decades in his country and gave me a step-by-step list of instructions on how to safely perform it.
I conclude by saying that I pity those who both stole money from me and from my family, including those judges who make decisions on something they know less than nothing about and each and every attorney who makes money representing conservators at the expenses of the conservatee's, because each one of them will realize at death how badly they behaved while living and will decide what eternity their souls will have (read my previous posts on this).
The pain for me has been 24/7 for 10 years, BUT I'd be wasting too much money if I just tried this........
Friday, February 10, 2017
In thinking about all the bad that too many have been procuring to me since my survival, I got in somewhat of an argument with both real theologians and people of great Christian faith, I was convinced that when God (gravity) made himself man in Jesus Christ, I was convinced that the earthquake that destroyed Jerusalem (from which the wall of tears) and the holocaust were the way that our omnipotent creator was punishing the Jews for having killed him with crucifixion when here as Jesus/man. But then I started to think to my older posts (i.e. Aldo Moro and my 4th hypothesis, here below)
I remember having a lengthy email exchange with a person of great faith and very close to Jesus, who just reminded me that our God creator loves us like his own children and would never want to hurt us in any way (just like me for my 2 treasures).
I later realized that I had already kinda said that God is ourselves already and all the bad that happens to anyone while living – including the Jews – is the simple product of our own conscience that punishes us for whatever bad we are doing to someone else.
OK in the case of the holocaust for the Jews there was Hitler who did most of the work, I do however believe that Hitler was a real devil and that every Jew is now existing in a kind of afterlife that – even if not heaven – is certainly much better than being in a concentration camp.
This actually makes me wonder about the two conservators I’ve had because they both are religious and believe in the sanctity of Jesus, I cannot understand what their reason may be to condemn themselves and their families both while living and in the afterlife – that I’m sure they do believe in.
You’ll see that many of the links here below say that God made us with the intent for us to become like Him (in his image and likeness).
Looking back to what I had put here, I believe to have mentioned that in some future time we’ll make what we have been calling miracles, simply because our creator (Jehovah) gifted mankind with the brain that only now in the second millennium we are starting to look at with the (unrealistic??) intention to understand how it functions and what we can do using it. I remember too saying the very reason why Jesus came to earth to die in pain, I had said that it was to reduce the powers of our brain and I had mentioned few people of the past as examples.
Here below I put another Youtube that expresses the same question I had in my mind for a while or, “if God created us, who created God?” that does make sense (and proves that my brain and my logic are still intact).
There’s actually an answer to this question that has nothing to do with the Lavoisier principle (nothing can be created and destroyed), in fact – everyone knows that our universe was created from NOTHING, therefore NOTHING created our God creator, another miracle that no science can ever explain……sorry Mr. Lavoisier, with the universe, God created (from NOTHING) mathematics, physics and so on, with all of their rules, therefore no doubt that He could create Himself too (B.T.W. God creator is a male).
Sunday, February 05, 2017
Since my Queen Michele always tells me that I was never someone who would take on the impossible, but simply switch to dealing with something else, much easier and – obviously – possible, I see that not only I fully disagree with my Queen, but that I’ve written about the impossible here only three other times, or in:
I had just said that I’m not going to need to make any list of the dozens of “impossibilities” that I overcame in my life, therefore, since my Queen should know well the most recent ones (including surviving a surely mortal accident) I’m truly both surprised and disappointed that she still believes in what her lover injected in her.
Few of the links to other websites I put here defer to God’s powerful help to overcome the impossible, but – if you’ve been following what I’ve been saying here, God is ourselves, so while it’s only us who can make the miracle to overcome the impossible, why would anyone think that our creator (Jehovah) may have any interest in helping us to overcome the impossible?
Thursday, February 02, 2017
If I was to add up all the losses that my survival from my accident with “the gift” of TBI has meant, I truly think that my agreement with Jesus was poisoned by my own personal pride (capital sin) because on top of having lost my athletic status, high level work career, my wealth and my two treasures, I lost my best friend ever too (Michele). I know that to say that your spouse is your best friend is a cheesy statement you do to say that you love your spouse, but in my case Michele and I truly used to behave like we were really true friends, sharing our fears and insecurities, making plans together about our future and decide what to do or where to go.
Truth is that having so much time to think on my own with the additional capability that my intelligent mind did retain part of the freedom acquired when we die (no body to take care of, anymore), not only I’ve become a fascinated student of quantum theories but I believe to now have become some kind of philosopher too.
Therefore believe when I say that one of the great losses that I must have to deal with – and possibly overcome – is the loss of the Queen who used to be my best friend for real, I can only say that at least I still have some (male) friends left with whom I exchange messages almost on a daily basis.
Regardless, given that I already know for sure that this coming spring not only I’ll return to be free from conservatorship, but I’ll be walking and go to Verona (Italy) with both of my treasures, to be back here with a job again, I can only say that not only I pity my two conservators and the several neuropsy who have assessed me as someone who needs help to manage money (at a ridiculous cost).
This opens actually the thought that the most probable people who’ll end up in their own personal hell are the judges who apply a demented legislation done for weak and gullible elderly people to be protected against thefts.
What made me wonder first (in Ventura) is that these conservatorship cases are dealt with in a juvenile court, like myself and people like me are too demented to be treated like adults……..
The horrible thing is that not only the judges dealing with such cases (the one in Ventura because too old to do anything else and the one here in Santa Barbara because too fat and angry to be kept around for her colleagues to see, therefore told that taking care of such cases is a step forward in the career……too bad that no salary increase is part of such change).
Please readers take no offense in what I say here, just take it as a warning, in fact – as I had explained here before – this entire environment of conservatorships is filled with people I called losers, meaning that not only those who chose to be conservators of others are going to go straight to hell, but their attorneys too, who even if they must have studied hard to earn their title, chose to represent true thieves of people too weak to be independent.
Without naming any name - because unnecessary – I want to say that my very first conservator was a woman who thought it convenient – for herself only – to take over her mother’s occupation, therefore giving up what God and mother nature had created her for, marry and have kids, the amount of money that she – and her attorney – stole from me and my two treasures make me vomit, if I just think of it, so my only way to overcome the nausea is to think what both Jesus and Iacopo say, after they’ll die, their own souls will take care of themselves forever!
Now, as far as my second – and current – conservator, I admit that I had to scratch my head for some time, because he’s a man and former Presbyterian priest and I couldn’t figure out the reason why he’d chose to steal money from weaker people to improve his living conditions.
After scratching my head for a while I received a message that he felt it important to marry an already pregnant woman
who gave birth to a couple of girls, he therefore felt it impossible to provide for his family by teaching all he knew - or what’s written in the Bible – so, after looking around for a while he learned of this occupation that can sometimes pay big money and requires no education nor experience of any kind at all.
I’ve come to think that he may even feel to be proud for what he did – and is still doing – he may believe to be a savior…..well, he’ll realize who he truly saved after he’ll pass over.
Monday, January 30, 2017
I woke up this morning with the idea to talk more about the genetic influence of parents to their children and – to my surprise – going through the plenty websites that explain the genetic influence from parents to children, I learned that the most influential are the father’s genes.
This means that my mother (now about 83 y/o) has been correct telling me that both my children would have come the same, no matter who their mother was. In fact not only my young angel daughter G. is pretty much identical to me, not only in skin color and attitude in studying and work hard for whatever she wants, but my son Br. too is almost the reincarnation of my own dad, his passion for camping and climbing is totally out of my dad, who when young climbed several mountains in the Italian alps and of whom I have several pictures (from about 80 years ago).
This goes totally against my love for anything that has to do with water (oceans, lakes, rivers and seas), but gives me too a very good idea of both strengths and weaknesses of my son, who’ll learn from me what to pay attention to, as his life will go on.
My dad had a cyst on his right shoulder that was given to him by his older brother who used to look over him when studying math, his brother used to punch my dad on the shoulder if he wasn’t correct in doing his homework, at least this is what my dad always said about the importance of studying (like he would ever punch me for not studying hard enough).
Well I must admit that I wish that my son had an older brother too, because he isn’t like his sister at all when it comes to studying for school, but hey! Wat the heck! How could a two years younger girl punch an older and much stronger brother when studying?
Aside from this I love my son more than I can say and I know of his huge importance for the Lingiardi family name, in fact he’ll be the only one who – through his children –is going to bring into the future not only the name, but my dad’s and my genes too. Now look at the links below that explain how important are the genes from the father in the makeup of the personality of an individual.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
My eternal love and mother of my two treasures has been telling me that if I still love her is just because my brain is injured and that she’s afraid of me and of my crazy determination to get better.
In thinking long and hard about this, I believe that my determination in getting better is totally genetic, i.e. I had an ancestor who was convinced that only if he tuned the (lead made) organ canes, his organs would have a “human tone”.
No matter how many times his relatives and doctors told him not to put the lead organ canes in his mouth, he ended up dyeing for cancer in his mouth, not much known in those far times back.
As for the genetic heritage that my spouse has, it all comes from her father, in talking with her mother (whom Michele hates) I learned that the only reason why he took care of his 3 children was simply because he was getting government money for having them living with him.
This actually explains well the reason why the mother of my treasures is so focused on being their mother and takes care of them (as best as she can…..).
Here again this is simply the product of her genetic makeup that would surely be different now if we could have remained together.
What I found somehow funny is that my spouse's’ mother told me that she pretty much had to run away from the man she had married because not even 4 men holding him by legs and arms could have taken him inside a church.
Since I know that my spouse is identical to her father, I’m a little worried because her soul is only destined to eternal nothingness, or real death, the end of it all.
What may I say now?......maaybee she’ll figure out that love is the most powerful force in this universe – unless as I’ll be dying my newly acquired “universal intelligence” will have me see clearly and realize how much she’s been hurting me in the past 9 long years.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Given that I know that you, my two treasures, come here to look at what I publish, I want to tell you the story of your great grandfather Renato (father of my own mother – your nonna from Venice).
His story is that during WWII he was the main manager of a train station outside of Venice and since he knew of the thousands of Jews being transported to the concentration camps, he used to go with some of his friends where the train had to slow down due to either a bridge or a sharp turn and using a metal tool he was breaking open some carts of the trains that would let free Jews by the hundreds, who would run towards the woods to hide.
Well my own nonno never told me how many times he did that, nor approximately how many Jews had the chance from him to survive the concentration camp where they were all going to be in few hours.
The one thing that’s certain for me is that given that he died in his sleep without any suffering of any kind, he must have been blessed for what he did around 1943.
The other thing I want to tell you is that when the American planes started to bomb the hell out of our country, your nonna/my mother was going in the middle of big fields behind the train station where she lived with her family and she would be terrified because the planes that were dropping the bombs by the hundreds, were doing it pretty much above her head, your nonna was a young teenager, so she didn’t know that when the plane is at a speed of several miles per hour the bomb must be dropped well before because they keep the same speed,Your nonna/my mother tells me that still today - more than half a century later – she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming because she still dreams to see the bombs dropping on her head.
Well I put here few pictures and videos of what I’m talking about, but believe me that I can tell you dozens of other stories of our family, all WWII related.