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Thursday, May 25, 2017

BORDERLINE BLASPHEMOUS (?)



What I feel it to be very important to define is that not only I’ve been a Catholic since birth – I was born in Italy in fact, the country that hosts the Vatican empire and that has as official religion the Catholic one.
However I had – according to my former wife – turned into an ascetic individual, no matter that I had my two children baptized in a Catholic church in Italy, attend Catholic schools and I’d bring my entire family to Mass on Easter and for Christmas at least.
Much to my Queen’s surprise, when I finally exited the 2 months long coma the first thing I told to my father and to my best friend who were present was that I had made an agreement with Jesus to remain alive for my love to my two treasures, later I had few people tell me things to convince me that my saying of this agreement can be explained by different reasons, the first one was from my own mother who told me that’s impossible that I could have met with Jesus – "these are stories that insane people say to cover something bad they did", then my atheist philosopher friend Iacopo told me that if I think to have seen Jesus is just because of my growing up as a Catholic with a Catholic education. So I decided to listen to them initially, however as time went by, I realized to know things very strange to know for someone simple as a Catholic as I had always been, I’m going to give here few examples:
   a)  Jesus loved to sing stories and teachings with the apostles (his friends, really)
   b)  Jesus liked/loved to drink wine – think in example to what the Cana’s wedding miracle was about (no more wine at a wedding party, Jesus turns water into very good wine)
   c)  Jesus liked very much to be in company……..with women too, think of the unanswered question surrounding the role of Mary Magdalene (but hey!!     he was a very good looking man who had fun like any other "normal" young man......so what would be the great surprise if he did have some "fun with women" too? )
Now most of what I mention was censored at the Council of Nicaea and this is part of the apocrypha Gospels that the Pope only can read.
In addition to this pretty vast and apocrypha information, I’ve been able – through my night dreams – to learn a different meaning of the sacrifice by crucifixion that Jesus made for the sin of mankind.
Let me start by saying that a perfect atheist (better than Iacopo) such as Stephen Hawking is recently made the big mistake to state that our universe could only form due to the "arrival" of gravity. 
Well dear Mr. Hawking, where did gravity come from?
Who or what created the entire universe.....just gravity, where did all the rest come from, time, matter etc...?
When we read again the Bible having as belief that our creator was gravity (called father and/or Jehovah by Jesus) very many things - all of a sudden - written both in the old and New Testament make very much sense, i.e.:
·         Our God creator is everywhere therefore can see and  know everything. Then we have:
·         Jesus walked on water
·         Jesus and the hundreds of fish that filled the nets thrown from the boat where he was fishing with some other apostles (his friends....)
·         Jesus helped Lazarus walk out of his tomb (where he was put because of the attempt to  keep his leprosy sheltered from further contamination, but he wasn’t dead yet, as it's clearly explained by knowledgeable historians)
And so on, I’m sure that better educated Catholics than I am can easily come up with plenty more examples.....
The reason for my long (and somewhat complex) preamble is to explain that via my past several posts published here I’m hoping to have convinced you that there exists a major difference between who we call God and the creator of our entire universe.
God is us humans, God is ourselves ("created in His image and likeness") for the very simple reason that we have in our body, under our control the most complex and unknown entity in this entire universe that Jesus/our creator made into man came on earth to die on the cross with the purpose to limit the brain's powers that can be truly deadly  i.e.
·         It took 6 senators to kill Julius Caesar by stabbing him until he was dead.
·        Alexander the great only stopped to conquer and fight when he passed away due to a disease (was it cancer ????)?

And on and on and on………this list could go on to fill a library, but I think that you get my point. As a simple consequence whenever someone swears at God (God-damned…..and so on) he/she is simply swearing at him/herself, the idea of the “mortal sin” is just a product of the Council of Nicaea, with plenty others. Also I often go back – to take strength in my “moments of weakness” to what Fr. Betto in Ventura always used to tell me about the fact that God (me) never gives challenges to those whom he knows will not win over them, therefore I know that eventually I’ll survive my losses and go on with my life as wonderful as it had been for 42 years.
I cannot say how much strength and self-confidence this thought gives to me and it can always completely remove the pain I have in my heart for not being able to live with my two treasures and my Michele , to the point that I’ve been asking to my own God (me) if those who have been able to take advantage of me will ever suffer the consequences for their actions at my expenses (the list here is quite short, just 2 conservators, one in Ventura and one here in Santa Barbara) on this very topic I’ve had a big argument with a true theologian who claims to be very close to Jesus.
I was told in fact, that God is our father and as such He’d never want anything bad to happen to us, His children/creatures.
However I realized – being myself a true father - that once my children will enter adulthood and exercise their own free-will, a father cannot do much if one child decides to either hurt him/herself (i.e. use heavy drugs or steal from people on the streets), or be very disrespectful of what society has made as regulations (over thousands of years) or of family and friends. In fact – this was the core of our argument – if we go to a war or become serial killers? God can only do what I’d do myself as the father to my two treasures = be sad and suffer very much pain for not having been able to transfer the principles over which all the societies of the  world stand on.
 I’m hoping that my usual links and Youtubes will entertain and relax you (what about donations for me???)

  1. http://thisibelieve.org/essay/93677/
  2. http://www1.cbn.com/700club/i-was-my-own-god
  3. http://www.theblaze.com/news/2012/07/08/i-am-god-morgan-freeman-explains-his-bizarre-take-on-religion/
  4. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Council_of_Nicaea
  5. https://www.gotquestions.org/council-of-Nicea.html
  6. https://www.gotquestions.org/did-Jesus-drink-wine.html
  7. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracles_of_Jesus






Wednesday, May 24, 2017

MIND AND CONSCIOUSNESS

This is simply going to explain (with consistent links to supporting websites) that mind and consciousness aren’t part of the brain and we can therefore easily conclude that even when the brain is injured mind and consciousness aren’t at all, in fact I’m willing to bet that both my conservators and my latest neuropsychologists are seeing already the effects of their own stupidity in hurting innocent and disabled people – who knows why? – Maybe they do…
Yet again this is a very new area of research and science – I believe much related to the quantum discoveries and to the related psychology research.
I certainly don’t want to sell myself as an expert in these fields; I just want to say that if anything strange and somehow unpleasant has been happening lately to both my neuropsychologists and to my conservators there’s nothing to be surprised it’s simply my mind with its enormous strength that’s making them all happen to you, without mentioning what your afterlife will turn out to be………as you’ll see and realize that hurting others never pays off, especially in view of your eternal existence..good luck people, never forget that salvation is always possible IF you can repair your mistakes while still living.


This is simply going to explain (with consistent links to supporting - to me - websites) that mind and consciousness aren’t part of the brain and we can therefore easily conclude that even when the brain is injured mind and consciousness aren’t at all, in fact I’m willing to bet that both my conservators and my latest neuropsychologists are seeing already the effects of their own stupidity in hurting innocent and disabled people – who knows why? – Maybe they do…
Yet again this is a very new area of research and science – I believe much related to the quantum discoveries and to the related psychology research.
I certainly don’t want to sell myself as an expert in these fields; I just want to say that if anything strange and somehow unpleasant has been happening lately to both my neuropsychologists and to my conservators there’s nothing to be surprised it’s simply my mind with its enormous strength that’s making them all happen to you, without mentioning what your afterlife will turn out to be………as you’ll see and realize that hurting others never pays off, especially in view of the way your eternal existence will be…..good luck people, never forget that salvation is always possible IF you can repair your own mistakes while still living.


  1.  https://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/16/opinion/consciousness-isnt-a-mystery-its-matter.html?_r=1
  2. https://www.quora.com/How-does-human-consciousness-work
  3. https://www.ucl.ac.uk/jonathan-edwards/publications/conscpropcells
  4. https://www.quora.com/Why-are-Scientists-say-your-%E2%80%9Cmind%E2%80%9D-isn%E2%80%99t-confined-to-your-brain-or-even-your-body
  5. https://aeon.co/ideas/the-mind-isn-t-locked-in-the-brain-but-extends-far-beyond-it



Tuesday, May 23, 2017

GOD HAS BEEN DRIVING US ALL NUTS

I must admit that I’m not too desperate anymore for having been abandoned by my own creation, i.e. my family of three, for the fact that – I’m sure that you all already know, I’m very much (maybe too much) into the study of quantum physics. Today in fact I want to tell you about the truly great BBC documentaries about the fact that few thinkers, mathematicians and philosophers, like
Gördle, Cantor, Turing and Einstein (WOW !) all realized that certain things cannot be proved within a logical and rational system but intuition and logic are only human, therefore absolute certainty doesn't exist (can you see Einstein now??) so it can be stated that intuition and creativity cannot exist in any rigid framework and are mathematically unprovable. These people had thought that at its deepest level mathematics would rest on certainties that for them was the mind of god but instead they all had uncovered uncertainties that Turing and Gördle for example, proved would never go away because they are an inescapable part of the very foundations of mathematics and logic, the almost religious belief that there’s a perfect logic which governs the world of certainties, and logic itself had unraveled the limitations of logic, so the search for certainties had revealed only uncertainties.
Bottom line I can say that I understood that in a world of uncertainties there are no absolute certainties but in this kingdom of human ideas that are finite and incomplete, we are incomplete and finite too (may I say that I know few education incomplete and intelligence finite neuropsychologists tooJ?).
Another problem is that today some knowledge still feels to be too dangerous because our times haven't changed much from the times of these great thinkers/mathematicians and philosophers. We humans have been desperately searching for some certainty to believe in, mainly to feel safe. AND these very good, important and very well known mathematicians (Gördle, Cantor, Turing) all committed suicide because unable to accept the mathematical proof of the existence of God.

  1. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1358421/The-tantalising-proof-belief-God-makes-happier-healthier.html
  2. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/3352606/Religion-why-do-people-believe-in-God.html
  3. http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/06/01/10-facts-about-atheists/ 



Saturday, May 20, 2017

CONSCIOUSNESS AND SOUL


This post is about the human consciousness and is the second one I make on this same subject, the first one I published on 4/6, here it comes:


Both are about the relationship we have with our soul (human only). Human consciousness has been defined as awareness, sentience, a person's ability to experience and feel, but despite the important role it plays in our lives and making us who we are, we actually know very little about our consciousness.
Conscious awareness describes a mental state of being truly aware of the events and situations in one's life. ... Minimal consciousness is the lowest level of awareness, where your mind is vaguely aware of something but is not truly focused on it. Perceptual consciousness is the mind's ability to be aware of our body and our environment.
The "soul or spirit" is what enables us to be aware of ourselves. It is the essence of life, eternal and its' substance lies outside the physical parameters of the Universe. Moreover, when in place in any physical body, it connects directly to it and becomes our consciousness.
I started to think that Quantum physics is off track when it marvels about what happens in the double slit experiment, it’s very clear to me (and to my very strong mind) that the difference in the “observed experiment and the “non-observed one” is simply the huge strength that our brain, our will and our mind do affect this and plenty other experiments, aside from our everyday life in the way we want things to be.
I do (sadly) realize that I’m getting once again into the topic of the true miracle that our (human) brain is.
In fact, not only my best guess is that it’s going to take another 2K years before we’ll know, understand and use our brain well, but we’ll start to be able to use its extraordinary capacities on our own, but let me go back to the title of this post, or if there’s a difference between consciousness and soul, because it seems to my (Catholic) education that the quantum description of the consciousness is the carbon copy of the way we Catholics have been describing the soul for 2K years. But while making my study/research about these topics I’ve come across the word “mind” too that made me ask to myself where the connection mind-soul comes from as well as what our brain has to do with these words (soul, mind and consciousness).
But let me give you what my (injured) brain considers the clearest definitions of these terms:
MIND
Our brain is part of our body(organ). Our mind is part of the invisible, transcendent world of thought, feeling, attitude, belief and imagination. The brain is the physical organ most associated with mind and consciousness, but the mind is not confined to the brain.
SOUL
The "soul or spirit" is that part of us that enables us to be aware of ourselves. It is the essence of life, eternal and its' substance lies outside the physical parameters of the Universe. Moreover, when in any physical body, it connects directly to and is our consciousness.
CONSCIOUSNESS
Is the state of being awake and aware of our surroundings." It's the awareness or perception of something by someone. It's the awareness by the mind of yourself and the world. Consciousness emerges from the operations of the brain (I’d call the operations, mechanical, or biologic).
I put here below few links with the way several different dictionaries and research websites define these matters and together with my “well found” Youtube video, I’m hoping to give a good time to spend in learnings and studying.




  1.  http://www.livescience.com/47096-theories-seek-to-explain-consciousness.html
  2. https://www.extremetech.com/extreme/181284-human-consciousness-is-simply-a-state-of-matter-like-a-solid-or-liquid-but-quantum
  3. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/consciousness
  4. https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/consciousness
  5. https://www.quora.com/Is-the-soul-just-another-word-for-consciousness
  6. https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/11/quantum-brain/506768/
  7. http://www.san.beck.org/Soul-2a.html
  8. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_mind
  9. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consciousness
  10. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soul

Thursday, May 18, 2017

NAAAAHHHH WEIRDNESS & STUPIDITY



I’m hoping that my Queen is going to look at this post – given that she never comes here – but as I’m watching my millionth Youtube I stumbled on this one that truly made me laugh hard, I mean, a serious scientist (and my personal hero) like Michio Kaku talking about this very current scientific theories, comes out saying something this absurd and crazy, this actually made me make my usual google search for few idiotic websites that make fun of what I’ve been studying for weeks (but hey, my brain is motherf…..ing  injured).
This is therefore my post of today, in hope to give an injection of real humor with the never-ending hope to receive your donations (the more, the betterJ).


  1.  http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/blogs/physics/2011/11/debating-the-meaning-of-quantum-mechanics/
  2. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/03/170317102438.htm
  3. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/6546462/The-10-weirdest-physics-facts-from-relativity-to-quantum-physics.html


Tuesday, May 16, 2017

COURAGEOUS AND FEARLESS




I consider myself more courageous than fearless, for the simple reason that in my opinion courage is closely connected to intelligence, experience and self-confidence, while being fearless is just an attitude based on nothing that can put you in real trouble, but let me give an exposition of each adjective here:
Courageous
Is courage an emotion? Plato explains this perseverance as being able to persevere through all emotions, like suffering, pleasure, and fear. As a desirable quality, courage is discussed broadly in Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics (I read it in Latin when I was in High school), where its opposite is cowardice and its excess is recklessness.
Courage is “having strength in the face of pain or grief.” Courage is the ability to act on one's beliefs despite danger or disapproval. Courage is also called daring, audacity, boldness, grit, hardihood and heroism.

Fearless
Be fearless means that no matter that everyone experiences fear, you must ask to yourself if it’s part of being human. No matter how overwhelmed and paralyzed your fear is making you feel, you can migrate into fearlessness.
Here's how you can start overcoming fear:
   ·  Be aware of fear in your life. Before you can begin overcoming fear, you have to admit that you are scared. ...
   ·  Stare at fearless people. ...
   ·  Be objective. ...
   ·  Be willing to look stupid. ...
   ·  Become confident in your achieving your goals (one by one)
   ·  Seek out teachers. ...
   ·  Share. ...
   ·   Embrace struggle.
   ·   Do decide what’s most important or what you want most

This last one is the same as in courage, because once you simply decide what it is that you want or consider of paramount importance at that time, nothing can stop you from focusing your body and mind in the accomplishment of your (personal and only yours) goals.
Aside from the exciting video above, I put here a picture of myself very many years Ago (I think I was 25) during a vacation in Corsica (French Island above Sardinia in the Tirrenian Sea) with few friends fully dedicated to scuba diving and underwater spearfishing.
That was a time when my courage impressed very much all the participant to that vacation and still today I’m impressing very much all who know about me and my struggle, I actually have a friend who keeps telling me that every time he has a bad day at work, he thinks of me and his mind immediately switches to positive, in fact he thinks: ”why do I complain now if maybe I’m suffering -0.0000001% of what Carlo has been suffering every day for the past 10 years?
He tells me that all his pain and depression disappear immediately, replaced by an injection of positivity and strength.
He tells me too that if I could sell my strength and courage I’d be a billionaire already, rather than worry that my conservator doesn’t steal my money thanks to his ignorance and his (plenty) fuck ups. To conclude I need to say that in my opinion these two words pretty much overlap each other and for me they don't count at all anymore, I was born courageous, my self confidence, intelligence and experience made me fearless and since in 2005 I died but came back to life, even death doesn't scare me anymore.



  1.  http://theboldlife.com/2013/05/13-things-fearless-people-do-differently/
  2. https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-fearless-and-courageous
  3. http://ericguttmann.com/fearlessness-vs-courage/
  4. http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Fearless
  5. http://liveboldandbloom.com/05/productivity/how-to-be-fearless-in-everything
  6. https://www.fastcompany.com/3029063/7-ways-build-your-courage-against-impossible-odds
  7. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courage
  8. https://www.ramdass.org/couragetolove?gclid=Cj0KEQjwo-XIBRCOycL7hsuI_NoBEiQAuS6HtG4CP3bzTxxrM62UHXwmMVlHeeRoSDU4tsiSM356RxoaAkxb8P8HAQ
  9. https://couragerc.org/
  10. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courage


Saturday, May 13, 2017

π MOVIE


OK this is going to be yet another video post, simply because I’m still in shock for having watched this movie from beginning to end.
Most of what I’d say of it is very well illustrated in the Youtubes I put here and – of course – if you just go to the links I put at the bottom you can satisfy any curiosity you might still have about this π movie.

I conclude this simple post just saying that you need to have your usual good friends and 3 gallons of lemon-vodka  to truly enjoy this movie like I did…….beginning to end.

  1.  https://www.reddit.com/r/FanTheories/comments/19uf55/pi_the_darren_aronofsky_film_was_he_an_insane/?st=j2o12ig4&sh=20f2b7e5
  2. http://aronofksy.tripod.com/piexclusive1.html
  3. http://tech.mit.edu/V118/N32/api.32a.html
  4. https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-main-idea-of-PI-1998-film
  5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pi_(film)



Friday, May 12, 2017

WTF


I’m trying to figure out why the heck I didn’t pass an idiotic financial test that should have returned to me not only my money, but my personal freedom to do whatever the fuck I want – as it’s been since ever in my life, well……here’s what they came up with:
To start my “trial test” I was given $3.000 in my newly opened bank account, BUT my giving to my Queen the children support about 2 weeks earlier is the major reason why I hadn't money to pay my Villa rent, not to count what I gave to my beautiful son to restore his ability to keep sleeping in his home (its rent mostly paid by me).
How could I ever make any loan or anticipate any payment if by month end I'm in the negative for $240? It's stupid to even ask me for a dime and while I can understand that our son cannot have all these information, I'm surprised at the way my Queen gave to herself the "anticipation".
Why (or WTF) did she need it?
Why can't she figure out that living together - like every normal family - would only bring more comfort to everyone?
I bet she can't understand my accounting, she never did it, so why trying to learn how to do it now?
Isn't enough that she’s afraid of me and of our son?
How's life lived in fear?
My one arm is always open to take her back and protect her from anything and anyone.
But here’s how the math (using approximate numbers) really was:
 +$3.000 initial deposit
                                                      -$2.0000 anticipated t for monthly child support
                                         -$1.000 to my son to be allowed to return home
               = Initial deposit all gone……..

Now that my initial deposit was all gone - for reason not caused by me - here’s how the math of my “money management abilities” ended up being:
                        + $7.600 monthly allowance
                        -$4.500 my monthly rent
                        -$2.050 child support                                    ______________________________
                        $1.050 monthly net

With this net I’m supposed to pay Federal Drugs for my (plenty) medications, my Amazon Prime monthly membership, anything I need for my cleaning, (supplies like shampoo, conditioner, body soap, soap bars, toothpaste, toothbrushes) plus whatever else I need to keep my PC and desk perfectly clean as I demand them to be all the time.
In addition I’m someone who likes to snack while working at my PC, therefore another $250/month can be added for dried fruit and sugarless candies (Fisherman’s Friends permanently in my mouth for 14 hours each day) and very small and (sadly) rare gifts for my family (mostly Italian sweets).
Now, how can anyone say that I’m unable to manage my money if this was my budget, without a backup like I always had (=+/- half $mil. in my ING savings account)?
If - on top of this - I think that the way my ability with numbers and money was tested by making elementary mental calculations and by showing that I'm able to fill out a check…..let me stop here before I switch to use offensive language filled with swear words......
WTF, WTF, WTF, WTF, WTF, WTF, WTF, FU...


  1. https://www.internetslang.com/WTV-meaning-definition.asp
  2. https://www.lifewire.com/glossary-of-common-texting-abbreviations-4061650
  3. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/WTF