Carlo Lingiardi

Thursday, May 08, 2014

I’M SORRY

I took some time today to read well again my past posts and I saw that they contained threats to people who have refused to treat me in a way that’s not yet approved by the FDA that I’m convinced (unless after trying it personally, I won’t have any benefits at all) could give me back my athletic physical status (as it used to be since my birth) and the freedom that anyone legally has here in the USA (the land of the free).

The fact that I was evaluated me (for his own peace of mind) to have the need to be under full conservatorship and that the Ventura court followed to the letter his assessment of me and gave to me a very young woman as full conservator really made me very mad (T. Nelson a professional conservator who makes money doing this........).

I must however apologize to the people I hated for many months, simply because while in a coma I met (in person or in my mind) Jesus Himself and I agreed that for me to remain alive to be close to my children was worth any pain I was told I should expect.

Certainly I must admit that there exist pains that are much worse than just the physical pain (named neurological?? for me) that I've been trying to take care of by taking little morphine daily for 9 years while being seen by very many pain specialists (MD).

In fact, there exist neither medications nor therapy that can decrease the pain to lose an entire family (2 children with a very beloved wife) a successful work career and the possibility to travel internationally to go sometime to Verona in Italy to see my dying father and very old and dear mother together with my family so that also the American Lingiardi can meet and get to know the Italian Lingiardi with their plenty relatives and improve to almost perfection their Italian speaking skills.

I’ve been posting here many times about the humiliation I keep being subjected to by both my family (wife here and sister Anna in Italy) and my full conservator, but since I was blessed for having seen and dealt with God’s son, Jesus, I can now say with great confidence that whoever humiliated me while living will “simply” have to face an eternity of regret.

I’ve written here before that I don’t believe much in what my hero-poet Dante Alighieri put in his Divine Comedy about where our souls end up after they leave the body after death, in fact I imagine that hell is just being away from the presence of God (or in the infinite nothingness) knowing very well that they could be in heaven (IF they repair while still alive what they did of unjust and sinful,given that God is pure forgiveness), that’s just being under His sight where Adam and Eve used to be before the “original sin”.

I put here below – as usual – several links to websites in support of what I say and 2 YouTube videos of something that truly tells that our science has been able to prove the existence of the entity that let me survive the accident that could have killed anybody else.

AND from the real news

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJhJg5YKJVE

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

TRULY SHOCKING!

I had TBI in October 2005 and since then I practically complained of a terrible pain in the left side of my back that starts at the neck and ends at the top of the pelvis, for many months I was convinced to have a tendon connecting these 2 points but when I did tests with electrical activation of my tendons I was told and understood by myself that there’s no tendon in that area and all the tendons in my body are pretty good anyway.

I’d been seeing too many physiatrists and neurologists to even start to list them all here by name, it would be too long (but you can ask me).

However, while repeating again that I’m no MD, I learned by myself why I’ve been in so much of a pain for so long, I’m going to put here below – as usual – links to websites that support my statements.

I guess that it must be because I’m too smart and I look too good for all these “guess-specialists” even with a Ph.D. not to even guess that my pain is a typical result of TBI that’s named sciatica and that can be treated with full success with Enbrel injections or for what’s been FDA approved for this since its market entry.

I can only think at my former and very nice PT in Ventura, Tami who kept telling to me that my ONLY reason not to be able to walk like anyone else is the pain that I always have and blocks any idea or attempt to ever even try to walk on my own.

What’s even more maddening for me is to remember all these “pain specialists” and neurologists refusing to even try to treat my never-ending pain using the Enbrel.

I’m now seeing yet another “pain specialist” who gave me positive hope because when I pronounced the word Enbrel didn’t make a terrified face and even gave the name of another MD who used to treat patients with Enbrel, however since it turned out that this person does not offer this treatment anymore my new pain specialist has told me that he’ll do this himself in a local hospital (yeaahhhh).

I truly wonder what type and amount of penalty all these plenty MD specialists should be requested by me for 8+ years of atrocious pain, but I believe it best for an attorney to contact me to make a hefty payment plan for all these “specialists”.

Must end as usual

http://brainimmune.com/perispinal-etanercept-improves-neurological-function-in-chronic-brain-injury/

Sunday, May 04, 2014

MY BIGGEST INJURY

What I very sadly must consider the injury that’s even worse and more painful to the one I received to my brain is the complete loss of my family composed by my dearly beloved to the n^th level former wife Michele with my two children whom I’ve been referring to as my treasures (+ my sister Anna)and the ability to work again, earn money and travel overseas as I was doing for several years with very much curiosity and satisfaction.

I actually remember to having referred to this much bigger injury as the added insult to the brain injury because while I do hope that something exists to help my brain find the way to reparation, truly nothing exists that can make me rejoin my dear family and/or return to work at my usual rhythms and levels after such a long time spent totally removed from the industry that used to be my field of activity while sitting on a wheelchair closed in a room without anyone else to exchange few words, watching movies on Netflix 12 hours per day.

What also makes me very madly frustrated is that I cannot (and maybe won’t) ever be able to say that the perispinal Enbrel is only a scam (NEVER having been allowed to try it), because there exists yet no way to bring back to life dead neurons once they die.

I’m sure everyone knows how much research I’ve made on this, how many researchers and important bio-chemists I’ve been talking with the intent to understand how this “off-label therapy” can do what it claims it can do. On top the FDA has been refusing to take any position (in favor or against) about what several MD already practice around this country with huge earnings, making patients - who can afford it - very satisfied with the results of an off-label unapproved therapy being said to be a scam.

I sent messages to our president Obama and to the entire (both parties) White House for months, but I now must realize that this use of an anti-pain medication could truly help the brain repair itself, it would be used already worldwide, no matter what financial or medical side-effects may exist, I’ve been calling here the TBI the epidemic of this second millennium and there would be no reason for anyone to put a stop to its (simple) solution if it truly would exist already – even at a low cost.

The total inability at this time to even improve the disabled conditions of a TBI victim is really disheartening, but more than that the inability of a “prestigious neuropsychologist” (Erik) to understand that I’m probably smarter and surely more experienced in life of whatever he can ever dream to be, together with the absolute refusal of the mother of my treasures Michele to ever be the life partner, companion and wife she swore to be by legally marrying me in 2 different and distant countries, adds to my injury and faith (mistaken??) in the perispinal Enbrel what I’d call the insult on top of the injury.

Besides the brain injury it would be very good for this too:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15265252

Saturday, May 03, 2014

CONCEPT OF SIN

I consider the beginning of humanity with the evolution – a quarter of a million of years ago – of the homo sapiens that developed the way we behave and act/react in public, so I don’t think I’m saying anything strange when I mention that since we are toddlers, as we do something wrong we are usually punished with a spanking or anything else that has the concept of punishment.

Even us Catholics usually do repentance before receiving communion, that’

s often done by repeating several times specific prayers as commanded by the pastor who has listened to you listing your sins and decides how you can free your soul from the sense of guilt and the sins you believe you had committed.

This is the very reason why as I woke up from the 2 months long coma I had been since my accident (best called murder) and given that I couldn’t think nor remember to have ever done anything either sinful or disrespectful to anyone, I tried to think to what I might have ever done to be punished so harshly from father God.

What came to my (injured) mind was that only by being unfaithful to my adored wife Michele I might have committed a sin worthy the kind of punishment I had received, so I started to contact every single woman I had ever worked with in life to that point, regardless the country (USA or Italy, or France, or Germany).

However after several weeks of emailing and phone calling I learned that not only I never made any woman being with me at work (in whatever position) feel uncomfortable in my presence for anything I might ever said or done, but I made them ALL feel that I was some kind of “body guard” because no other man would dare to make comments or say or do anything “off color” in my presence to avoid the real risk to be “punished” by me in any non-physical manner (i.e. career opportunities, pay, travel or fun customers’ visits).

After several weeks doing this “research” I scratched this potential reason for having received such a painful and devastating “punishment”, what I can confidently say now is that the accident was in no way a punishment for anything I ever said, did or even thought about anyone in my entire life, I’m however being punished now after the accident by both my entire families in Italy and here in CA with my abandonment and their inability to understand my lonely condition, in addition to what an impertinent psychologist condemned to (conservatorship), not for too much longer however Erik!

Friday, May 02, 2014

I WILL NEVER GIVE UP

A part of the people who know me say that I have so much courage I could sell some to others, while another part brings up the fact that I had agreed with Jesus to come back here to life for the love (and responsibility) I have for my children.

Both parties are right in their own way, but what I’m convinced of, is that I’m here is simply because I’ve never been a quitter, certainly nothing came easy for me in life but from everything I chose to do, to the woman I chose to marry and have children with, it’s very easy to see that I never took the easy road to do anything in my life. In other words, once I decide that I want something or someone or do anything I go for it and never give up simply because I wasn’t born to be a quitter. What I find borderline sarcastic is that when I used to work as a top manager I became famous for never allowing anyone working with me to say the word “impossible” because it’s just the expression of laziness or weakness and I never wanted anyone lazy or weak if working for/with me.

The sarcasm is in the fact that I got the “impossible” injury to repair and obviously I can’t accept this expression of impotence, even when it comes from important and experienced neurologists.

In my logic if someone studies to become a doctor it is because wants to help people in need, so I think why the heck would someone want to specialize in the organ that’s “impossible to repair”? So for awhile I grouped neurologists with masochists because to me if someone chooses to have a profession that can’t give the satisfaction of seeing the fruit of the work done, there must be something very wrong or sick in the mind of that person.

My sister however patiently explained to me the importance and positive/healing effect of what neurologists give, but this doesn’t reduce my frustration to have one of them who wants to see me only few times a year “because I have no urgent needs”.

Actually I used to describe myself as the wounded victim on the side of the road bleeding to death, surrounded by plenty doctors who can’t do anything else but argue with each other about the amount and type of blood I need to be given as replacement. So in my way I’m fully bled out already because none of my experienced neurologists can tell me what to do to be able to walk.

In other words my inability to accept that nothing can be done for me is paired by my inability to accept to see doctors who gave up on their specialization when they chose it in the very beginning of their education.

Is anyone out there who doesn’t accept to give up and wants to join me in my fight for recovery? If you are there, don’t, make me wait any longer I’m a warrior who never gives up and is ready to fight at any moment.

Thursday, May 01, 2014

MORE OF THE SAME

I can recommend spending your money to go to watch this movie.

Finally, only a genius as Woody Allen has always been, makes it a joy to spend your money rather than be with friends as I say every time I see a new movie. I’m not going to tell what the story is about, since it’s pretty clear from the trailer.

I just want to repeat for the millionth time that I hope that the entire world isn't going to wait for my funeral before re-purposing what I've been hoping here for more than one full year.

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