If there
would exist any sure way to say that I’m unable to logically process my
thinking and therefore end up wasting my wealth is that my love for my Queen is
the result of my brain being injured, that’s what my Queen has been telling me
for many years, in fact to have the undeniable proof of this – aside the demented
neuropsy. assessments, it’d be sufficient to see what I basically did yesterday in my
latest post, in fact as I was listing the first letters of the eternally damned
people who surely are going to condemn themselves to what I’ve described
already what hell truly is.
I did in
fact erased her initials - as single woman - because too close to those of my current conservator –
which in fact explains very well the reason why I felt it necessary to add few
letters to the initials.
What forced
me to do so is that I was watching an unrelated movie to the clip of the
Youtube I put here, in fact how could I dismiss my life-Queen as
someone who will forever regret not taking care of me and my 2 treasures in the only time in my life when I need help when she truly
completes me?
Our lives
used to be more than wonderful, like heaven on earth, but something totally
generated by me, trashed 15 years of heaven lived together and tossed it down the
crapper.
Of course –
given my brain injury, go to look at the websites I linked below, they all talk
about the devastation that TBI brings to families and couples without any
distinction, not even for the couples – like we used to be – who already were
living in heaven.
The other
concept I want to describe is that since my Queen believes that after death
there exists nothing , “you die and that’s it” I’m not 100% sure yet,
but I believe that those who are convinced of it, truly die and won’t ever
experience afterlife, the one thing I’ve been unable to clarify to myself is the idea
that if for the souls who truly die (non-believers) there may exist any self-awareness of it.
And if this
is the case I can say – for direct experience – that that’s true hell.
I don’t
know if when I’ll die and my intelligence will become universal, I’ll realize
that my love (most
powerful force in this universe) for her will be able to “rescue” her to be forever together again, even if she's been trashing my life and that of both my treasures, wasted the wealth of my Italian family and cheated on me with some piece of trash.....all of this only for genetic reasons, so I'll see.
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