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Friday, October 27, 2017

(MY) LOVE IS FRIGGIN’ BLIND




Michele, beloved mother of my 2 treasures and my spouse forever has been telling me that the reason why I still love her is due to my brain being injured, it matters not that I say that love isn’t in the brain, love has been portrayed since centuries as a heart, I believe because when you look at something or someone you love, your heart beats faster.
Anyway I become truly upset when I think that the woman I pretty much adored since the very first time I ever saw her and – beside bringing her to Italy and become very familiar with it – is now back in the State where she was born – after I tried for more than a decade to move here with a job – is living with my treasures completely separated from me and has done many bad things that drove our son to craziness to the point that he’s now living separated from his family too, near LA.
I’ve stated here before that love is the most powerful force in the universe, it gives its effects after death too; in a way is part of our consciousness that’s part of our soul too.
If Michele doesn’t correct this very wrong and very expensive situation, she’s going to regret not having corrected it when living and this means that her soul will be forever in her own hell.
I really cannot understand the reason for her trying to say – and show – that she has no love feelings for me anymore, when it’s clear (maybe to me only) that they are still all there, she tells me that she fears me but cannot elaborate this concept and in the meantime I must live in a luxurious retirement home while she must work to struggle to pay the rent of the shack where she lives and forces my treasures to survive.
Lately my angel has been calling me tens of times each day, always making some joke, impersonating somebody else and suggesting to me to do something both crazy and impossible for me.
It’s too clear that she misses her dad whose presence would make her fell much safer and more comfortable. All I can say is that I hope that Michele won’t wait for my angel’s life to be totally ruined before understanding the gravity of her mistake.
My own huge regret is that my “laziness” in getting better has left both my treasures in the hand of a (fool) woman who lost each and every point of reference in her life as a consequence of my disability status.
In other words this is my fault again (in my mind) and sadly there’s nothing I can do at this point.

Too many should fear the time when the therapy I’ve been asking to at least try will be approved by the AU FDA at least, it’ll be again the proof that I’ve been always right, just like in the 50 years before, sadly I cannot shake my shoulders and say “oh well” all the people who took advantage of me and made it impossible for me to do what I wanted to do since 2013…..too bad there’s no “oh well” to say, once six feet under, the regret for not having helped someone else is eternal.
  1. http://review.gawker.com/jonathan-safran-foer-is-blind-deaf-and-dumb-1711667983
  2. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/06/08/love-is-blind-and-deaf
  3. http://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/683491/jewish/Why-did-Adam-and-Eve-become-aware-of-their-nakedness-only-after-they-sinned.htm
  4. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_Is_Blind



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