There are (sadly) numerous times that I can’t avoid
to think that if I had chosen to remain dead, many people and plenty instances might
never have presented themselves, my dearly beloved wife Michele would be
married already with some “wealthy loser” (like B.) having access to much more
money than they have now and they would only come to visit me at the cemetery where my
coffin might be once or twice a year.
I think in
fact that my being still alive is due to my huge selfishness because all I
think about all week long is what to say and do when my family comes to visit
me on Sunday.
But then my
selfishness takes over and I think that – even if always in pain – I can see
and hopefully influence both my treasures at the same time, even if not for too
long.
In looking
around the internet about the problems that TBI gives to family relationship, I
can’t tell how many millions of websites that google finds in 0.3 seconds, I
certainly fall into the category of spouses having to divorce with TBI as a reason, in addition I’m left to live on my own in a place that’s certainly first
class, it’s just that I’m not 95 y/o, like the rest of the residents where I
must live.
As I’ve
said before I spend my full days watching movies with my PC, that at times I
like very much, it’s just that in most of the good movies there’s always a
scene when the hero falls in love and tenderly kisses his princess and that’s
when my back fills with goosebumps simply because I only have my pillow to hug,
certainly not to kiss on the lips nor smell the wonderful skin perfume that
makes my Michele unique and that I can still (only) remember.
It’s
obvious (I hope) that the answer to the question above is certainly
NO!!!
Enjoy my
informative links now; at least I’m not the only one…….
- http://armyreservistwife.blogspot.com/2010/06/to-spouses-who-are-enduring-hell.html
- http://www.brainline.org/content/2009/01/truth-about-divorce-after-traumatic-brain-injury.html
- https://karaswanson.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/till-death-us-do-part/
- https://patients.aan.com/resources/neurologynow/index.cfm?event=home.showArticle&id=ovid.com%3A%2Fbib%2Fovftdb%2F01222928-201309060-00019
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