I’ve said
it here before that when I came out of the coma I told to my father and to my
best friend – both present – that I had made an agreement with Jesus Christ to
remain alive for the love I have for my two treasures, no matter that I was told
that it was going to be painful.
Well, I’ve
posted here to the excess about my having been agnostic and of my passion for
quantum physics – that scientifically confirm what Jesus Christ taught to the Palestinian
2.000 years ago.
I was hoping
that losing my job, monetary wealth, personal freedom, and a home to live with
my family would represent sufficient pains to withstand, aside from the
destructive experience to be divorced from my queen, but the fact that I’ve had
to add to all these huge pains that of losing my hero-son was nightmarish, to
say the least.
As the true
agnostic I turned out to be, I was reasoning in terms of the fact that when the
free-will makes us men hurt ourselves or each other, all father God does is to
suffer for what’s happening to his children.
This was
actually my way to “digest” the additional pain I was given to remain alive,
but my heart (and
stomach) were
making losing my son way too hard for me.
In my mind
in fact I had come to the conclusion that my son had gotten lost from me and
from his family.
However, I’m
happy and proud to say that my son and I have been reconnecting lately, I cannot
express my joy in seeing him come to my place (prison) to spend time with me, his only real dad (ready to give my life to save his).
Given that
we are together for several hours when he comes to my room, we get to talk
about many topics for several hours, sometimes in very emotional ways, anyway
to make a very long description short, I bullet point here where I see him
being a real part of me:
·
Very
clear ideas about life and society (with its rules)
·
Very
strong love feelings for “his women” (mother and sister)
·
Huge
self-confidence (just
like mine)
·
Strong
determination in obtaining what he believes it to become part of his life
For these reasons not only I feel to have found again a very important
part of myself and I want to believe that my feeling is totally reciprocated by
my son.
In fact as I’m planning my short term (but very important)future, I’m fully making him a very active
part of it, just like he’s become my business partner rather than “simply”
my son.
Once again I’m in the process to overcome this yet big challenge being
the dad of a man who has had to live through an exceptionally hard period of
life BUT
that – just like his real dad – he’s wiping away from the whiteboard of his
life, that will continue to be as beautiful and positive as mine was for 42
years.
- https://www.quora.com/If-your-son-is-my-sons-father-who-am-I-to-you
- http://trainingground.com/what-is-tg/male-initiation/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI8Ly2muat2QIVk-NkCh0gBgDLEAMYASAAEgJQW_D_BwE
- https://www.ucg.org/the-good-news/lessons-from-the-parables-hope-and-restoration-the-story-of-the-prodigal-son
- http://spu.edu/depts/uc/response/2010-spring/features/lessons-from-father.asp
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Father_complex
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