One of you –
my readers – recently told me that I’m not being very nice when I mention my
dearly beloved spouse.
All I can
say is not only that I wrote 36 posts about love – the most powerful force in
the entire universe that fully differentiates us humans from any animal on
earth – but also that most of these posts talk about my love for my
spouse/companion/best friend.
As I’ve
always been doing I put here a couple of Youtube videos and several links at
the bottom, because I feel it important for my readers to understand that I’m
not the only one whose life was devastated from my accident but my dear
companion too.
The
vastness of what TBI is causing to our country lately and its immense social cost
truly makes me wonder if there might truly exists a reason to explain why in
this second millennium nothing can be done for an injured brain to be healed.
(I’m not going to talk
anymore about the immediate recovery several years from the injury too because
it isn’t the scope of this post, all I can say is that hopefully someone will
understand that this is again a case that has all and only to do with
money, or the Big Pharma profits) this post here only deals (with its links and
videos) with the
tremendous disruption and misunderstandings that affect every married couple
who find themselves in the unfortunate obligation to deal with it and save
their marriage(I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life).
As you are
going to see it’s very common for a healthy and long marriage to fall apart (i.e. divorce) when one or the two spouses is
forced to turn into a caregiver, without any training or guidance. This is the
very reason why I still love dearly Michele (even she’s been telling me that I still love her just
because my brain is injured), her loss is almost the same as mine with the addition that she finds
herself to be in charge of the household with our two treasures who – being teenagers
need to be followed with the care and the attention that parents – working together
– usually can provide.
I can’t
begin to say my pain for not being of any support or present at least and I can
totally understand the reasons why Michele attempted to replace me as the
father figure (I pity those who tried) of our treasures, Michele wasn’t born with
any leadership traits, I used to be the one who never had any problem of any
kind and the one who stated since born that the impossible simply doesn’t exist.
All I see
is a fragile woman fully overwhelmed by the loss of the pillar of her life who
had to become strong and very confident overnight and this represents yet
another reason for my pain.
What
Michele needs to learn is that only if one can give forgiveness, becomes able
to forgive himself or herself and this is what I keep hoping that eventually she’ll
learn to do, my love for Michele is still intact and I know that once she’ll
forgive herself, our lives will return to be like my accident never happened (our next president, my
very hard work AND a different approach to my disabled condition will make the
miracle finally happen).
I conclude
simply by saying that nothing exists that can make me love any less my
life companion; this TBI is just a “speed bump” in our eternal companionship.
Long Youtube video:
- http://www.caregivers.com/blog/2012/07/caregiver-to-your-spouse/
- https://www.caring.com/questions/caring-for-disabled-husband
- http://www.drpsychmom.com/2015/06/03/my-husband-was-disabled-in-an-accident/#
- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/richard-c-senelick-md/disabilities-can-wound_b_805614.html
- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2011979/Am-I-wrong-cheat-disabled-husband.html
- http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-Married-To-Someone-Disabled/2026863
- http://forum.sofeminine.co.uk/relationships-fo1/fed-up-of-having-a-disabled-husband-fd1355
- http://nowwhat.cog7.org/Articles/Home-Family/Caregiving/Coping_With_a_Disabled_Husband.html
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