WHY AM I STILL ALIVE?

My followers here do know that while in the long coma I imagined to have met with Jesus Christ - maybe "myself in another time and space" as my friend Iacopo suggested - my story continues describing that I had asked to Jesus (?) not to cross the river of death for the immense love I do have for my treasures regardless that I was told that it would surely have been painful (made many jokes about this).

Lately my main question is if I truly met Jesus or if it was "something else", I can say that by digging very much in my memories I remember having seen a translucent golden sphere talking to me with the voice of a male, but the fact that I was predicted exactly what my future was going to be, really makes me believe that I might have met with God, on this I need to explain that when people say that the intelligence of God is very human, I cannot disagree with it, in fact I'm sure that we all could be gods if we knew past, present and future.

Taking any decision about anything wouldn't be guessing at all anymore, even what I call the guess-science (medicine) would be very specific and precise, no need to make any guessing anymore at all, we would all be Gods.

The one thing that bothers me most is that whomever I made this deal with hasn't been true to his part of the deal, how can I do anything with my children if I hardly see them once a week and I am never able to talk with them (email and phone)?

Am I truly still living (in pain) just to leave behind these blogs that do represent my personal diary, with my hopes, frustrations and thoughts?

Let me just say that - no matter how painful and hard - I'm never going to end my life, for these 2 simple reasons (no matter how stupid):

1. only my God can decide when it's time for me to go
2. Even if I cannot see and interact with my treasures as much as I want/need/is right I will never leave in their memories the idea of a dad who when I couldn't take it anymore, I just gave it all up (them included) by committing suicide.

So "stay tuned" I'm not leaving any time soon, no matter the pain or the cost, where we all go after we die, money isn't important at all, ask to Steve Jobs….

1. https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20111002101747AAJazid
2. https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130926174653AAfkjLv
3. https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20140517052619AAFBM7L
4. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2216848/
5. http://suicideproject.org/2012/03/why-am-i-still-alive-3/
6. http://biblehub.com/psalms/27-13.htm

VERY GOOD QUESTIONS, CAN YOU ANSWER ANY?