Labels

Saturday, June 14, 2014

GUILT



I’m a bit afraid that my being totally furious about my disabled AND abandoned conditions (and I’m beyond mad to those who cause my situation) might not allow me to go to heaven after my real and definitive death, I’m saying this, not only because I had a so-called Near death Experience that had me talk with Jesus Christ for real, but also very much because of my superior intelligence, logic and promptness that some Ph. D. failed to recognize (for fear).
My concern is that I’ve been so angry with certain people that if I’m going to die with this furious anger as my last thought (now permanent), my soul might end up in the infinite solitude that’s called hell, it won’t really matter that I’m still alive only for my love for my treasures, nor that I’m still in dear and passionate love with their mother Michele, I’m afraid that all of this anger will be too much to delete all my true and passionate love.
Even if I’m very intelligent, I haven’t really applied myself in theological or philosophical studies in my life, but since I truly believe that the humans are truly a unique miracle that continue their existence also after the physical end of life here on earth, I know that my love (uniquely human) for my treasures and Michele together to the one for my original family in Italy (Anna included) is very, very strong but I've recently started to be concerned that all of this love might not be sufficient to erase all of my hatred for the (too) many who have made my existence very miserable in these last few years.
I also know that it’s the last thought someone has when dying that determines the place when the soul is going to be forever, and I’m pretty sure that the people responsible to cause such great hatred from me, feel sure and are confident that all they are doing to me is a work of pity and support for (the poor disabled) me.

So I ask to my readers to tell me what they think it might happen to me (my soul) after I die, meaning if my big hatred will be stronger that my immense love for my treasures (I’m alive only for them) and will send me/my soul to hell (emptiness and solitude) forever or if my very strong and confident love will allow me to enter in heaven , also known as the terrestrial paradise.

  1. http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&aid=7238620&fileId=S016511530000396X
  2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terrestrial_Paradise_(Bosch)
  3. http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/14519a.htm




No comments: