I’m a bit afraid that my being totally furious about my
disabled AND abandoned conditions (and I’m beyond mad to those who cause my
situation) might not allow me to go to heaven after my real and definitive
death, I’m saying this, not only because I had a so-called Near death
Experience that had me talk with Jesus Christ for real, but also very much
because of my superior intelligence, logic and promptness that some Ph. D. failed to recognize (for fear).
My concern is that I’ve been so angry with certain people
that if I’m going to die with this furious anger as my last thought (now
permanent), my soul might end up in the infinite solitude that’s called hell, it
won’t really matter that I’m still alive only for my love for my treasures, nor
that I’m still in dear and passionate love with their mother Michele, I’m
afraid that all of this anger will be too much to delete all my true and
passionate love.
Even if I’m very intelligent, I haven’t really applied
myself in theological or philosophical studies in my life, but since I truly
believe that the humans are truly a unique miracle that continue their
existence also after the physical end of life here on earth, I know that my
love (uniquely human) for my treasures and Michele together to the one for my original
family in Italy (Anna included) is very, very strong but I've recently started
to be concerned that all of this love might not be sufficient to erase all of
my hatred for the (too) many who have made my existence very miserable in these
last few years.
I also know that it’s the last thought someone has when dying
that determines the place when the soul is going to be forever, and I’m pretty
sure that the people responsible to cause such great hatred from me, feel sure and are confident that all they are doing to me is a work of pity and
support for (the poor disabled) me.
So I ask to my readers to tell me what they think it might
happen to me (my soul) after I die, meaning if my big hatred will be stronger
that my immense love for my treasures (I’m alive only for them) and will send
me/my soul to hell (emptiness and solitude) forever or if my very strong and
confident love will allow me to enter in heaven , also known as the terrestrial paradise.
- http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&aid=7238620&fileId=S016511530000396X
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terrestrial_Paradise_(Bosch)
- http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/14519a.htm
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