Since now, after 9 years being on daily morphine my latest
“pain specialist” is getting me completely cleaned out of it using methadone,
because taking the Gabapentin that my very esteemed (and very former)
neurologist P. Delio had started to put me on, but since I had morphine in my
body, Gabapentin was giving me very much dizziness and mental confusion,
therefore I now must get rid of it if I want the Gabapentin to do its work on
my never-ending pain. Therefore, thinking of this I realized that I have had
since birth what serious psychologists call “addictive
personality”, in fact I used to be addicted to sports (ski/scuba
diving/running/biking etc…), career (to make more money) so that my addiction
to provide the best comfort and opportunities to my family could be well
supported and international travels (to tame my constant thirst to learn new
cultures, their habits and languages).
Given that, I was able to keep all of my emails
(sent+received) since 2003 that are soon going into my Gmail account,
I've been able to create a folder in my PC with the 57 emails that I had
exchanged over a 4 years period with the few headhunters who used to try to get
me a job here in CA, I had done this, only for my addiction to make Michele
happy by bringing her back to the State where she was born, closer to her
brothers (family) and in a very nice place (much nicer than the woods of NH
where we were living).
So, now that I can’t work, travel, practice any sports and
I’m abandoned by my
family, my addiction have nothing to be focused on, so I
now had to get addicted on something else to calm my soul – always in search of
good addictions and what I’m now heavily addicted to, is to eat what IHOP offers, in fact I’m just back from the local IHOP where waiters all know me
already very well, where I had “my fix” of the 3 cheese quesadilla and the 5
stuck of buttermilk pancakes!
What is truly starting to make me laugh is that every
time I go there I empty completely the “original syrup” container because
if I do not drown my pancakes in tons of syrup, I cannot be happy.
I was there yesterday (my birthday-51) too, but since today is
mother’s day, my family chose to celebrate it without the father (me), who went for my “fix” to heal my soul.
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