As I’m approaching my 50th birthday I fear that the influence of my personal God of life (Glenn Gould) might have been more than just an intellectual influence on me, the fact that on September 27, 1982 – when exactly 50y/o - after experiencing a severe headache, Gould suffered a stroke that paralyzed the left side of his body (same as me).He was admitted to Toronto General Hospital and his condition rapidly deteriorated. By October 4, there was evidence of brain damage, and Gould's father decided that his son should be taken off life support (unlike what I had instructed Michele to do). He is buried next to his parents in Toronto's Mount Pleasant Cemetery (section 38, Row 1088, Plot 1050). The first few measures of the Goldberg Variations are carved on his marker. According to the Glenn Gould Foundation, the cemetery staff is often asked for directions to his grave.While my own dear father is struggling to live his last few days here on living earth, I try to put at rest my mother’s angst by telling her – convinced – what my dad has been telling to me during our time together, about the sure existence of the soul (=energy therefore indestructible) that once free of the old and malfunctioning body is going to be free of pain, meet again friends and relatives who passed earlier and by being closer to our creator will make it possible for me and my treasures to live together again.
Since centuries we say in Italian when someone dies that “s/he passed to a better life” I really don’t know how nor when this way of saying originated, but having died myself already once I can say that it’s true.
The only one reason why I’m still living here is for the immense love I feel for my treasures, I’m doing this even if Jesus had warned me that it was going to be painful, not a day goes by that I don’t thank myself for having made this decision, even if my pain and frustrating battle to recover from TBI can be overwhelming at times, nothing can replace the joy I have when my treasures come to see me and now that I’m moving much closer to them, my joy and happiness are going to increase exponentially.
So it’ll be awhile before I’ll meet the soul of Glenn Gould but in the meantime I’ll be on heaven here on earth having my treasures with me and I'm trying to make this blog something like the movies of Glenn Gould playing, that really are like his testament to future generations of piano players.
No comments:
Post a Comment