I have to admit that my conservator T. has been doing a very
good job to take care of me and my money, it was funny today when I was at my
psychologist (found by T.) because I was complaining to have been assessed by
the guy in Oxnard as someone in need to control over the way I use my money
because the psychologist said that my conservator T. is like having a wife for
me and we both smiled because we both know very well where my biggest love is
and forever will be, I was actually grateful because he said that he could see
how much we still love each other, I therefore told him that I've been doing
the exercises he advised to do to me when I'm not seeing him, in fact I said
that, after having thought very much of a possible reason why Michele doesn't want
me around anymore is because she's afraid by my refusal to give up on my (full)
recovery, so we spoke about fear being something that has been a potent driving
force in humanity since the beginning, we can act irrationally because of fear
and do the stupidest thing for fear, so this psychologist gave me the good
advise to be supportive, understanding and be patient (oh my!) that with time
she'll get over her fear.
This made me think too to an Italian saying "al cuor
non si comanda" or literally "the heart cannot be controlled"
that implies that love isn't in the brain, but in the heart and since my heart
is perfect she cannot say that I still love her only because my brain is
injured☺
Then we spoke about my being truly offended not to have
enough spending money each month and he understands that I'm the type of person
who has plenty intellectual interests, besides the need to implement my Villa
nutrition (I'm not 99 y/o yet....).
Finally we discussed a bit my other reason I have to be
offended that has only to do with the assessment of that "Oxnard
doctor" who surely isn't stupid and by now he must have realized that his
fear to assess anything different from my several prior psychologists can only
send him to eternal hell, given that the research on afterlife is very much
driven by psychologists, he shouldn't have any concern to tell to the court
that condemned me to conservatorship that he's changed his mind, I mean what
could ever be worse than spend eternity regretting something that negatively
affected someone else?
Well, in the meanwhile I'm going to find a free spirited
psychologist not afraid to assess me as the man I really am.
- http://www.sparknotes.com/philosophy/beyondgood/section4.rhtml
- http://singlespirit.ca/
- http://www.wikihow.com/Tame-a-Free-Spirit
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sufi_psychology
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